BIGMACS AND COW PATTIES

After searching for hours for John Hume’s purported statements about Hillary Clinton’s role in the Good Friday Agreement I had to give up. No matter how hard I tried I could find nothing outside of a few blogs and news articles that merely alluded to his assertions. Some of them included portions of his statement but none provided a link or even a mention of the original source. Then I googled “John Hume” and got this and this, an article in one of the Irish papers that discusses “a statement in his [Mr. Hume’s] name” that “was put on Mrs. Clinton’s official website.” Well, now, that explains why bigmac_2008 failed to include a link in his comments about my last entry. No self‑respecting fried meat patty would want to be known as a spin master – leave that to the cotton candy aficionados, ay?

One has to wonder how Mr. Hume’s comments, which I suspect were made over the telephone, were solicited. Did Hillary’s aides offer cheese with the whine or did they just resort to playing the victim’s role? It most probably was a combination of the two, and I can just imagine how the conversation went: “You’ve got to help us Mr. Hume. That terrorist Muslim – Barrack HUSSEIN Obama – is saying that Hillary didn’t support the Good Friday Agreement. Yes, he’s related to Saddam. And he’s black, you know.” To which the distressed Mr. Hume replied, “Now, now girls. You mustn’t let this get you down. Why everybody knows Mrs. Clinton ‘visited Northern Ireland, met with very many people and gave very decisive support to the peace process.’”

Well here’s some news for you, bigmac: Cheerleaders give very decisive support to their home teams. That doesn’t make them quarterbacks. And let’s not lose sight of the real issue here – Hillary Clinton’s claim that she played a key role in bringing the warring factions together for peace talks. She has gone so far as to mention a meeting she supposedly “pulled together” at the Belfast town hall for the purpose of getting them to talk to each other for “the very first time.” And that, my friend, is just another cow patty.

NEW LAYOUT

Hi guys, I got tired of the white text on black, and I have heard it is somewhat tough on the eyes, so I switched to a new template. Let me know in comments what you think. It's also very easy to add new page elements to the sidebar, so let me know if there's anything you'd like to see there.

JC

SCHISM!

Well, it appears that there has been a messy divorce in Social Issues. Mainstream Politics has packed his bags and left Debate Central with an empty apartment and unpaid utility bills.

I know some of the story, but I'm sure that many of you have your own piece of the puzzle or idle speculation or a scurrilous rumor or two, so weigh in in the comments and let us know what happened to cause this schism.

JC

THE TOPIC FROM HELL

It's hard to watch yet another room falling victim to the trap of discussing the Israel-Palestine conflict ad nauseam. As posted in MPIDC on Saturday, I have seen this topic literally eliminate what were otherwise diverse and enjoyable chatrooms, to my frequent dismay. And the desensitization that occurs with repetition of this jaded topic is not unlike experiencing Bill Murray's struggles in the movie Groundhog Day.

The principal antagonists in this never ending tirade are as predictable as pie. The same stories recur over and over again and not-so-subtle rhetoric smears the screen. Moses and Balfour are tossed about as if they were legitimate operatives in the present moment. But never is there any sign of negotiation or compromise. Instead, we become infected by the raw emotionalism of both sides of this absurd dispute. The compulsion to take sides usurps the limbic systems of the onlookers and the conflict is perpetuated, both on paltalk and in that real world.

The inescapable fact is that Israel happened. Its creation was comprehensible to the post WW2 global mindset in that there were large numbers of displaced Jews and massive collective guilt concerning their fate under Hitler and several other tyrants. Two generations later that comprehension is disregarded and the sickness of legacy-grudges is abusively passed to the children of both sides. Indeed, hate and victimhood are among the easiest emotions to access and have become the cherished refuges of the two opponents. Is it any wonder that either side is capable of inconceivable atrocities?

The solution is obvious: the establishment of two distinct states, the mutual rejection of militancy, and the creation of an actual and viable Palestinian economy. With 75% unemployment it is evident many Palestinians have little else to think about other than exacting revenge rather than generating any sense of the future and the collective will to improve their status. Similarly, Israel must re-examine its dranconian approach. Building provocative settlements and tearing down olive groves on disputed lands is just gasoline on a bonfire and reveals a micro-imperialistic desire to further humiliate the Palestinians. And clearly new and rational leadership is essential for both parties; that is, if a solution is actually desired. Unfortunately, it is increasingly apparent that sandbox-emotions and egocentric self-portrayals of martyrdom will prevail.

I gave up on this topic a long time ago. Talking sense to the obsessed is a waste of time I've discovered. But it bugs me no end that another decent chatroom may be wrecked at the hands of a small, irreconcilable, and repetitive group of combatants who seldom look beyond a microscopic strip of desert.


p.s. Having just loaded Paltalk before posting this (which i actually wrote yesterday) I notice the aforesaid room is no longer with us, at least for today. I won't claim to be Nostradamus, but the topic from hell may have played a part.

ANOTHER WHOPPER - OR MAYBE JUST A BIGMAC

It seems that Hillary Clinton has been claiming at least partial responsibility for the peace pact in Northern Ireland, a claim that Lord Trimble of Lisnagarvey described as “a wee bit silly.” He doesn’t seem to remember Hillary playing any role in the lengthy negotiations that led to the Good Friday Agreement. But, apparently, Hillary has vivid memories of her efforts to bring the warring parties together for peace talks. She has even given a detailed account of a meeting she supposedly arranged between Protestants and Catholics at the town hall in Belfast – one that there is no record of, and no one else can remember.

The only “meeting” David Trimble recalls is a dinner party Hillary attended with the women of Belfast. They know she was there because she posed for a picture in front of a table that held the stainless steel teapot she liked so well. Funny that the former First Lady’s recollections of an historic peace treaty differ so drastically from those of the negotiating parties. But Hillary is said to be an unusually intelligent woman. That may explain why she remembers so much more about those tumultuous years than the others do. Then again it causes one to wonder why she cannot remember directing someone in her campaign to alleviate Canada’s concerns about her current stance on NAFTA – a reminder that her claims of foreign policy experience should be taken with a grain of salt. And, if you frequent Debate Central, you're undoubtedly wondering how her blind and faithful follower, bigmac_2008, will try to wiggle out of this one.

DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT GEOGRAPHY

Some Republicans clearly were not paying attention in 5th grade Geography. Maybe McCainVSHussein was too busy fantasizing about an after school rendezvous with Sister Mary Pete. Notice how his mind cannot quite differentiate states from cities.

McCainVSHussein: HOW MANY BLUE STATES DID OBAMA WIN...2 OR 3 LOLOLOLO
McCainVSHussein: obama supporters how many blue state did he win
McCainVSHussein: McCain won 13 red states
McCainVSHussein: how many blue states obama won
naldrvr: McCain 11
McCainVSHussein: nald name them
lanny383: i can never remember who is red and who is blue?
McCainVSHussein: please
naldrvr: McCain you go look them up I'm not your mom
vagrrik: lol mccain your still on your colors lol
McCainVSHussein: I have only see n 3 chicago, washington and maine
Jesus Claus: chicago is a state?
McCainVSHussein: illinois fool
Jesus Claus: chicago, he says
McCainVSHussein: don't be stupid
McCainVSHussein: and childish
Jesus Claus: that's going up on the rattler
McCainVSHussein: I ony see Illinois, Maine and Chicago
McCainVSHussein: McCain won 13 redstaes
Jesus Claus: you said chicago again!
McCainVSHussein: oops
Jesus Claus: definitely posting that to the blog

I think maybe Mc got hit in the head with the Tetherball a few too many times at recess, which might explain the slight indentation in the side of his head. And the mental difficulties.

JC

IT WAS GOOD WHILE IT LASTED

Well, I had thought that kingkong62 was an educable conservative, one who might one day learn to feed himself without needing a bib, but I was sadly mistaken. Here is what he just said on mic:

kingkong62: "The Democrats are the party that started the KKK, that started slavery..."

Where does one begin to address such foolishness? And this is coming from someone who claims to be a black man, although clearly not a fully educated one. Now, no, I'm not about to tell you that the Democratic Party, especially the southern Democratic Party, was not the party of slavery, racism, and hateful violence. The KKK was indeed created by Nathan Bedford Forrest. Abraham Lincoln, a Republican president, freed the slaves. And southern Dems fought for Jim Crow well into the 60's.

But kingkong62, I cannot forgive you for your pitiable ignorance of the historic realignment that took place over the very issue of black civil rights. How can a modern black man think of himself as educated and know nothing of the Dixiecrats? How can you be ignorant of the vast defection of southern Democrats from the party over LBJ's signing the Civil Rights Act? Let me lay this out for you very slowly and carefully for you, so there is no misunderstanding:

THE...PARTIES...SWITCHED...SIDES!

And they did it over the very issue that you are trying to blame today's Democrats for. How is it you've never heard of Richard Nixon's famous Southern Strategy, a nefarious plan to exploit the native racism of southern whites newly converted to the Republican Party for electoral victory? I'm sorry, but you're going to have to do one of three things: either turn in your Official Black Person Membership Card, turn in your Official Conservative Membership Card, or dammit, turn in your Library Card, because you obviously have about as much use for it as a Republican male does with an adult, sexually available woman.

JC

BOBBY'S BACK

I can foresee a need for one of these...

Not two weeks ago, I heard Bobby Boom Boom McGee say he was finished arguing with people on Paltalk. Yet, tonight in MPIDC, he is again ranting and raving about the evil Joooz. Better get one of these ready, Bobby, you'll be needing it soon.

JC

OBAMARAMA VS. THE HILLARY-PILLARY

The most intriguing irony in watching the Clinton/Obama debates in MPIDC has been the virulent about-face that a surprising majority of the Paltalk womenfolk have undergone in just a few short weeks. To criticize Hillary in the early part of January would often bring on accusations of sexism and misogyny whereas today, to even mention that Barack wore a bad tie brings on the wrath of the ladies as if one had insulted their body-shapes. In publicly stoning their alpha-female it seems they are deferring the opportunity for a female president for another century or two. Woe that I neglected to copy/save some of the posts that have come my way in recent days.

To me, the issue has boiled down to political strategy 101: how do the Dems prevent Darth McCain from stealing the next election? It is not an easy question, however, if the Paltalk 'sample' is any reference, it would appear the grass-roots Dems have decided to use the bandwagon-strategy and shun and humiliate those who question whether Obama can win the presidency to the sidelines. Innuendo and outright accusations of racism are being hurled at anyone who shares the view that Obama is a very risky proposition in terms of the real electoral test in about nine months. Of course Hillary is a risky proposition too, given that the aforesaid Dems threw out their best chance in John Edwards some time ago. But amnesiac Americans seem to have overlooked how the real process works, particularly from the GOP side of the equation: Mr. Obama is wide-open for an assault on his character, his 'philosophy', and his past misdeeds in the same way that John Kerry was tasered in 04. It simply doesn't matter if the smear is true or not - trailer-brained Americans will buy it all as fact and they make up a huge electoral force both in peer influence and diebold lever-pulling. In my opinion Hillary has been thoroughly and brutally pre-trashed for years by the dark forces and there really isn't much more they can throw at her leaving her in a stronger position whereas Barack is still a relative smear-virgin, leaving him extremely vulnerable to unexpected broadsides.

I have the gut feeling that repugs and corpmedia are rubbing their hands at the prospect of the Dems ascending Obama as their cherished candidate.. From there his destruction would be a slow, steady, and expanding process of exposing him as simply too tainted and new to be considered for the highest office in the land. Obama has demonstrated a rather weak response to accusations of any sort thus far - but what if the Sinclair allegations are 'substantiated' by other creepy people with similar stories? I have already seen early indications of this oozing out of blogs etc. And there is the Rezko trial, conveniently just underway right now. What if Obama is exposed as having participated in shady land deals, cover-ups, and profiteering? There is high probability this trial will expose him to significant degradation regardless. These and numerous other petards may begin to explode shortly after Hillary drops out of the race, which could happen soon if she gets trounced next week. Paltalkians of course will discount them and assume anybody in their right mind would do so also. But that is naive. Mr. Obama is a sitting duck for all that is horrible about U.S. politics and every hint, assertion, and provable fact will stick like velcro to the minds of the semi-literate hordes.

I'll conclude by saying that even though I think both candidates are sub-par I genuinely hope I'm wrong; that Obama will squash McCain and go on to a productive presidency. Likewise for Hillary should she overcome the odds and become the nominee in reasonably legitimate fashion. But I can't escape the feeling that media and the GOP are engineering American minds for a default McCain win via Mr. O.

GREAT MOMENTS IN CONSERVATIVE STUPIDITY, #3,564,335

2/27/08 - 2:35 AM EST

LUMINOL (on mic) - "Barack Obama wants to withdraw a brigade a month from Iraq. That'll take 4 to 5 years!"

# of troops in Iraq - 170,000
# of troops in a brigade - (according to LUMINOL) 5000
170,000/5000 = 34 months

So sorry, your answer was only off by a couple of years. Good luck repeating 5th grade math.

JC

GREAT MOMENTS IN CONSERVATIVE STUPIDITY, #3,564,334

2/26/08 - 8:39 PM EST:

tommyjohnson44: doesnt matter who you take money from you are beholding to someone

What we are BEHOLDING is that you are a dumbass. You should not feel BEHOLDEN to your teachers, they obviously failed you miserably.

JC

THEIST "LOGIC"

It's hard not to laugh out loud at the hysterical reasoning put forth by some theists. Have a look at these gems:

Tawk Soup: JUST HARD TO FATHOM THERE ISN'T A GOD ---- WHEN 9 MONTHS LATER ... A PERFECT 8 POUND BABY WITH ALL IT'S TOES AND FINGERS ENTERS THE WORLD HEALTHY

Tawk Soup: NALD --- HARD TO FATHOM THERE ISN'T A GOD ----WHEN THE " EARTH IS PERFECTLY PLACED 93 MILLION MILES FROM THE SUN ...... NOT TOO HOT .... NOT TOO COLD

What can one say about such lame attempts at rational thought? Oh my yes, it's a miracle when a baby is born, just like it happens every few seconds every day. This is a classic logical fallacy. Just because something IS a certain way, theists take that to mean it must have been DESIGNED that way, even though we know that the universe, both physically and biologically, functions according to natural laws. If those laws were different, then life as we know it would also be...wait for it...different!

Theists insist that those natural laws were designed, but they literally cannot wrap their tiny minds around the concept that those laws could just as easily be different, and we would be living in a universe where those DIFFERENT laws seemed absolutely perfect as well! In fact, I can't think of a scenario where some form of life somewhere, living under some set of natural laws, would not also think those laws perfectly designed for them. Clearly, this thought is too complex and abstract for a person like Tawk Soup to comprehend.

And how can it be significant that the Earth is the "perfect" distance from the sun to sustain our kind of life? Other planets may exist where other forms of life are thriving in their "perfect" environment. I can just imagine the Ejovidian version of Tawk Soup turning to his friend and glomphing, "Isn't it so amazing that our atmosphere is 70% methane and the temperature is -34 degrees? How perfect is that? It must be designed by the Great Tentacled One in the Sky!"

I really wish the level of reasoning from the average Paltalk theist would improve. Come on folks, you gotta bring your "A" game!

JC

THE SPIN MASTERS

Looks like Republicans are running short of ammunition for their smear tactics. Yesterday in Mainstream Politics in Debate Central tommyjohnson44 made the fatal mistake of trying to smear the New York Times by accusing them of lying about John McCain. As “proof” of his allegations he offered a link to one of those Republican tabloids that spin the truth until it’s unrecognizable. At issue was the article in the Times that recently drew fire from all the talking heads: For McCain, Self-Confidence on Ethics Poses its Own Risk.

As you can see by the title, the piece had little to do with McCain’s sex life but, rather, focused on his sometimes reckless disregard for the public image he’s managed to create in the minds of his constituents. It seems McCain would like people to believe that he’s a man of integrity and ethics – a hero in the struggle to halt the free flow of “soft money.” He’s even criticized members of his own party for taking what could be seen as bribes from special interest groups – free dinners, vacations, the use of private jets, etc. Yet a cursory glance at McCain’s personal life would cause the average person to question his role on the Senate Ethics Committee.

The piece offers a long list of behaviors that seem to contradict McCain’s public position on the role of lobbyists in Washington. My personal favorite is their account of the incident at the Willard Hotel where dozens of lobbyists were invited to a fund raiser for McCain’s 2000 bid for the White House. When Bush supporters gathered outside the building to mock the event, McCain’s team responded by pinning buttons on the lobbyists' shirts that read “McCain voted against my bill.”

The central argument of the piece is that McCain has grown so confident in the ability of his public image to deflect criticism that he pays little attention to the blaring contradictions he sets up with the company he keeps. His relationship to Vicki Iseman is offered only as an example of how he recklessly undermines his otherwise impeccable reputation as a man of ethics.
But, as you undoubtedly already know, neocons have a tendency to zoom in on anything that seems to suggest sexual impropriety, even if it's only a remote association. That’s about the only topic their limited intellects can handle.

So it’s no wonder that tommyjohnson44 failed to read the article and chose instead to rely on the Republican spin machine to give him the “facts,” namely that the Times had accused McCain of having an extramarital affair. In all fairness, I must say that the authors of the piece could’ve avoided any confusion had they chosen to mention Iseman in a later paragraph. But given their short attention span the neocons would’ve stopped reading after the first paragraph and missed the Iseman mention altogether, which brings to mind the oft repeated question on the part of one Paltalk chatter, kcgentz – Why oh why are republicans so stupid?

Blogged with Flock

BOUNCE N' POUNCE

Having been bounced from Mainstream today by @Carmen for pasting the dictionary definition of the word 'snigger' which means A disrespectful laugh, and for which she had dotted BigMac for using prior to my arrival, I have realized the error of my ways and thought I'd try to make it up to her by posting a jpeg of Barack being fitted for his inaugural suit. Carmen's very protective of her messiah and I also should have known better than to have questioned his infallibility in a post prior to the bounce :(

TOMMYTELETHON

You people eat this stuff?

tommyjohnson44 just demonstrated to the room the sad state of, at the very least, his personal economy, when he said:

"I'm jes' waitin' fer the price of crawfish to come down so I kin git some."

Now, I'm not that familiar with the commodity prices of what are basically underwater cockroaches, but it seems unconscionable that in the most prosperous nation in the world, people like tommyjohnson44 would need to choose between paying rent, utilities, or the succulent crunch of aquatic insects.

Please, won't you dig deep into your hearts and wallets, and contribute to The tommyjohnson44 Crawfish Fund? A watery bug is a terrible thing to waste.

Make checks payable to:

The tommyjohnson44 Underwater Cockroach Fund
c/o The Shady Pines Trailer Park, Lot 159
Booniesplat, LA, 44556

JC

LAND MASS COMPARISON

FINALLY, A REPUBLICAN WITH CLARITY

kingkong62 just got off the mic in Mainstream, and I must admit I am happy to see there are some Republicans with a clear idea of what their party is. He said, among other things:

"McCain is a Bush cocksucker."
"The Republican party is a mess."

Bravo, my friend, I could not agree more. You may yet fight off that conservative infection.

JC

THE SAD STATE OF LOUSYANA PUBLIC SCHOOLS

tommyjohnson44 is one of the dimmest bulbs in Social Issues. He was just on mic reading from a website, (which is obnoxious anyway) when he encountered the extremely difficult English word, "anecdotal," which he proceeded to pronounce, "ants-i-dotal," three separate times. Now mispronouncing a word once is no cause for alarm, but this is clearly how tommy thinks that word is pronounced. So very, very sad.

I fear for the future of public school students in the state of Lousyana if this is a representative sample of its products.

JC

JAY'S CORONATION

Lord Jay 156 cops a feel

Dateline Paltalkia - The Toodur royal family announced today the creation of Lord Jay 156, knight of Northumberland and Lower Mississippi. Reports confirm that the king used a ten foot pole rather than the traditional longsword, as, in his words, "The stench was nigh unbearable, wot wot."

Anonymous sources claim that Jay lobbied heavily for the elevation, primarily owing to his unrequited, and downright creepy, obsessive mancrush on LordMercifulVoo. As a commoner, jay_156 was ineligible for a formal marriage (and you know how eager he is to get into his white wedding gown). Unfortunately for Lord Jay, reports from Voo's camp indicate that the promised dowry, consisting of 3 decrepit mobile homes, ten roughly sexually abused sheep, and a rusted out Ford truck on cinderblocks, would not be enough to persuade Voo. Besides, he's not gay. At least not for that price.

Rumors persist that Lord Jay 156 intended to go to war to force the marriage to take place, but owing to the fact that Jay is a chickenhawk with an intense fear of fighting, war, horses, mud, pain, and strawberries, the planned invasion was scrapped.

More details to follow, as Jay is clearly not finished wooing his beloved...

JC

A word about the Election.....

Could someone explain to me why the whole fucking world believes that the Democratic party is split? I don't see it that way. I see two very strong leaders who are ready to take over from the current jackasses in the White House The repukes are running for cover because they have no one who can match up. Either way, America wins and big business loses.
Thank you.
ZM