ISTANBUL, NOT THE OTHER ONE

konstantine Tsiolkovsky: Clause, the only knowledge you have is the slide of hand

This is great stuff. Really, it seems like the quality of idiocy, the thickness of the boned head, the lardiness of the dumbassitude of the average Paltalk conservative is growing faster than Dick Cheney's nose. And I swear, I have told this halfwit konstantine at least three separate and individuated times that the expression is "sleight of hand," not "slide of hand." Is it important enough to worry about? Let's just say that if someone cannot learn after three lessons that they are incorrect about something, there is not much hope that the increasingly apparent mistakes, fabrications, and fallacious smears from the Republicans are going to be effectively processed by konstantine's dessicated cerebral cortex.

It has become my habit when vetting conservatives to use the question, "Do you accept evolution?" as my own personal triage. If a conservative has enough knowledge and sense to at the very least acnowledge and understand evolution by natural selection, then there may be some basis for dialogue. If instead they respond with tragically misdirected derision, and begin spewing about faulty carbon dating and "no transitional fossils lolzer!!!1oneone1!," then it seems best to end transmission at that point. konstantine, to his credit, had at least heard of evolution before. Unfortunately, it seemed that the only way a basic high school biology lesson was likely to penetrate his skull was if I wrapped it around a bullet and fired it in. I am constantly impressed with how immensely ignorant people can be.

By far the most fantastic piece of imbecility konstantine expressed was on the subject of Saddam and WMDs. We know now, of course, that there were no stockpiles of WMD in Iraq, and that Saddam did not have any programs to create any. konstantine has apparently missed the last few memos, and has been snoring through the board meetings, becase he announced to the room that "we" had not been watching Saddam for 12 years. That's nonsense, I told him, inspectors were in country from 1991-1998, and had certified that his WMDs were almost completely destroyed. You know, except for the ones Clinton bombed. In Operation Desert Fox. When Republicans squealed, "NO WAR FOR MONICA." You know, the Republicans who were super sober serious about the terrorist threat. Yeah, those knuckleheads. So now, with his rhetorical expeditionary force shelled to smoking embers, konstantine swerves his argument off the road. "Liberals get too focused on WMDs, but that's not what Iraq was about." Ah, to be a conservative. They have life so easy. First he can tell us he was right and we were wrong on WMD. When he loses that argument, he just decides arbitrarily that what he was just arguing about isn't even important anymore, and if liberals don't stop being mean he's gonna take his ball and bat and go home, so there!

And we're supposed to take these sniveling conservatives seriously? Why is it they get to play by these Calvinball rules, and liberals are stuck having to do boring things like gather evidence and deploy logic. It's so much easier when you get to make it up as you go along.

JC