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What long buried secret is behind LordMercifulVoo's claim that he can't stand SwanSongstress? Were there some clandestine rendezvous in seedy Chicago Motels? Is there any connection to John McCain's supposed black lovechild? Perhaps Voo was a rugged, rough-and-tumble yet injured hockey player who teamed up with Swanny's sensitive but aloof ice dancing princess to win a figure skating doubles competition and ultimately fall in love? Or was that the movie The Cutting Edge...

I've got it. Swanny leaked Valerie Plame's name to Scooter Libby, and now she's telling the grand jury it was Voo what passed her the classified scuttlebutt. I freakin' knew it!

JC