AUSSIE ANGST

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THIS WAS A REAL CONVERSTION

Who's On First for the Next Generation

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening? Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China. George: Great. Lay it on me. Condi: Hu is the new leader of China. George: That's what I want to know. Condi: That's what I'm telling you. George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China? Condi: Yes. George: I mean the fellow's name. Condi: Hu. George: The guy in China. Condi: Hu. George: The new leader of China. Condi: Hu. George: The Chinaman! Condi: Hu is leading China. George: Now whaddya' asking me for? Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China. George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China? Condi: That's the man's name. George: That's who's name? Condi: Yes. George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China? Condi: Yes, sir. George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East. Condi: That's correct. George: Then who is in China? Condi: Yes, sir. George: Yassir is in China? Condi: No, sir. George: Then who is? Condi: Yes, sir. George: Yassir? Condi: No, sir. George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone. Condi: Kofi? George: No, thanks. Condi: You want Kofi? George: No. Condi: You don't want Kofi. George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N. Condi: Yes, sir. George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N. Condi: Kofi? George: Milk! Will you please make the call? Condi: And call who? George: Who is the guy at the U.N? Condi: Hu is the guy in China. George: Will you stay out of China?! Condi: Yes, sir. George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N. Condi: Kofi. George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

APRIL 20, 2004?

It comes down to two things, either Bush is a liar or he doesn't tell the truth!

BUSH Speech,

April 20, 2004

Secondly, there are such things as roving wiretaps. Now, by the way, any time
you hear the United States government talking about wiretap, it requires -- a
wiretap requires a court order. Nothing has changed, by the way. When we're
talking about chasing down terrorists, we're talking about getting a court order
before we do so. It's important for our fellow citizens to understand, when you
think Patriot Act, constitutional guarantees are in place when it comes to doing
what is necessary to protect our homeland, because we value the Constitution

SNOOPGATE?

Today it comes to past that Bush broke federal law and has admitted to it on Saturday, Sunday and Monday.

He says he'll do it again and he doesn't give a damn about it.

This is a News report about how Bush didn't want the story leaked in the first place.

-MSNBC, AP

Bush’s Snoopgate

The president was so desperate to kill The New York Times’ eavesdropping story, he summoned the paper’s editor and publisher to the Oval Office. But it wasn’t just out of concern about national security.

Dec. 19, 2005 - Finally we have a Washington scandal that goes beyond sex,
corruption and political intrigue to big issues like security versus liberty and
the reasonable bounds of presidential power. President Bush came out swinging on
Snoopgate—he made it seem as if those who didn’t agree with him wanted to leave
us vulnerable to Al Qaeda—but it will not work. We’re seeing clearly now that
Bush thought 9/11 gave him license to act like a dictator, or in his own mind,
no doubt, like Abraham Lincoln during the Civil War.

No wonder Bush was so desperate that The New York Times not publish its
story on the National Security Agency eavesdropping on American citizens without
a warrant, in what lawyers outside the administration say is a clear violation
of the 1978 Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act. I learned this week that on
December 6, Bush summoned Times publisher Arthur Sulzberger and executive editor
Bill Keller to the Oval Office in a futile attempt to talk them out of running
the story. The Times will not comment on the meeting, but one can only imagine
the president’s desperation.
The problem was not that the disclosures would
compromise national security, as Bush claimed at his press conference. His
comparison to the damaging pre-9/11 revelation of Osama bin Laden’s use of a
satellite phone, which caused bin Laden to change tactics, is fallacious; any
Americans with ties to Muslim extremists—in fact, all American Muslims,
period—have long since suspected that the U.S. government might be listening in
to their conversations. Bush claimed that “the fact that we are discussing this
program is helping the enemy.” But there is simply no evidence, or even
reasonable presumption, that this is so. And rather than the leaking being a
“shameful act,” it was the work of a patriot inside the government who was
trying to stop a presidential power grab.
No, Bush was desperate to keep the
Times from running this important story—which the paper had already inexplicably
held for a year—because he knew that it would reveal him as a law-breaker. He
insists he had “legal authority derived from the Constitution and congressional
resolution authorizing force.” But the Constitution explicitly requires the
president to obey the law. And the post 9/11 congressional resolution
authorizing “all necessary force” in fighting terrorism was made in clear
reference to military intervention. It did not scrap the Constitution and allow
the president to do whatever he pleased in any area in the name of fighting
terrorism.

What is especially perplexing about this story is that the 1978 law set up
a special court to approve eavesdropping in hours, even minutes, if necessary.
In fact, the law allows the government to eavesdrop on its own, then
retroactively justify it to the court, essentially obtaining a warrant after the
fact. Since 1979, the FISA court has approved tens of thousands of eavesdropping
requests and rejected only four. There was no indication the existing system was
slow—as the president seemed to claim in his press conference—or in any way
required extra-constitutional action.
This will all play out eventually in
congressional committees and in the United States Supreme Court. If the
Democrats regain control of Congress, there may even be articles of impeachment
introduced. Similar abuse of power was part of the impeachment charge brought
against Richard Nixon in 1974.
In the meantime, it is unlikely that Bush will
echo President Kennedy in 1961. After JFK managed to tone down a New York Times
story by Tad Szulc on the Bay of Pigs invasion, he confided to Times editor
Turner Catledge that he wished the paper had printed the whole story because it
might have spared him such a stunning defeat in Cuba.
This time, the
president knew publication would cause him great embarrassment and trouble for
the rest of his presidency. It was for that reason—and less out of genuine
concern about national security—that George W. Bush tried so hard to kill the
New York Times story.

VIRGINIA_1776 AND THE HOLY GRAIL

Most of us are familiar with the very hilarious Monty Python and the Holy Grail, you know, the low budget comedy featuring Tim the Enchanter, the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, and the Black Knight who tells King Arthur "none shall pass!"

Enter Virginia_1776, yet another Bushite intent upon exonerating the criminal President despite his arrogant admission of guilt--no expense spared. I liken Virginia_1776 to the Black Knight in The Holy Grail. She drew her sword in VooDoo Politics tonight in defense of her beloved King George the Lesser and decended crash, boom, whollop right in the middle of a gunfight. And despite winding up a quadrapalegic with a frontal labotomy, Virginia_1776 eeks out in her last gasping breaths "it's just a flesh wound ... I'm invincible ... Virginia_1776 always triumphs ... Oh! I see you running away ... King George will beat you all" as the conversation moved on beyond her mental capacity.

You have to give Virginia_1776 high marks for stamina - she defended her misguided understanding of FISA longer than any of us expected she would, dodging all manner of proof that she was wrong until Jesus Claus ended her suffering with the proverbial coup de gras: put up or get out! And Virginia_1776 took her battered body and fled the scene, most likely to lick her copious wounds. Such is the life of a neocon. Unfortunately, Virginia_1776, being the salamander she is, will regenerate her missing limbs - and live to lie yet another day.

vacreeper2003

FISA, FISA, BO BISA...

I really don't understand why virginia_1776 and other wingnuts cannot understand simple laws. The FISA court is specifically set up to issue secret warrants for wiretaps of foriegn terrorist agents. It even allows for both limited spying on Americans engaged in terrorist activites, AND for emergency spying for which a warrant can be obtained up to 3 days later. And, of course, the 4th amendment protects American citizens from warrantless spying.

So why is virginia_1776 engaged in an exploration of the byzantine provisions of the FISA act? The issue here is the fact that Bush issued an executive order to allow the NSA to engage in warrantless, unrestricted spying on Americans and foreigners. Virg just doesn't seem to get it. Bush issued an order that violates FISA, and allows the NSA to work outside the FISA system. Why would he want to do this? Is it just to assert unlimited executive power? Or is there something about his targets or methods that would be unacceptable to the FISA judge? We need answers to these questions, and we need them as soon as possible. The President has broken federal law. If this is definitively proven, he must be impeached.

JC

NKOTB

It looks like the blog bug has infected a new bloodstream. Virginia_1776 has started her very own blog, and it's right here. It's called Social Diatribes, and so far...uh...it's kind of paltry. But I'm sure the floodgates will open and all the musings of Virginia we've been pining for will spill out onto the page. Good luck, Virg. The blogosphere is a cruel mistress. Lucky for me, I'm down for that kind of kink.

JC

HOLY CRAP!

Just a random picture that says, "Blam!"

That was my reaction when I saw Vacreeper's latest post. Man oh man, he is raising the bar here at the Rattler. I'm sorry I brought him on, he's making me look bad! Here I am trying to offer mediocre satire, and he goes and dazzles with a detailed, substantive treatise. AND he does satire, too. We're gonna have to start charging admission here. You people should be paying a premium for this kind of stuff.

Ah, hell, forget it. Isaiah_1 gives us his genito-centric comedy for free, so I guess we'll keep our services free as well. Plus, it appears that Bobby McGee has figured out a way to get aroung being banned, so excitement can't be far behind.

JC

BUSH'S SECRET WAR ON AMERICAN CITIZENS

Even as PT neocon regular RichardCranial tries to convince himself that President Bush was within the bounds of the law when he authorized electronic surveillance of US citizens ostensibly to enhance the national security, George Bush was preparing an announcement that he is committed to his felonious ways and is proud of it. But many in Congress aren’t so pompous, including Pennsylvania Republican Senator Arlen Specter, Chairman of the Senate Committee on the Judiciary, who characterized Bush’s actions as “inappropriate," and vowed to make the matter a top priority for a thorough investigation come January 2006. You've really gotta hand it to George; he certainly knows how to throw a GOParty to ring in the New Year, huh? So RichardCranial, if you can stomach the truth, read on.

President George W. Bush admitted on 17 Dec 05 that he personally authorized the National Security Agency (NSA) to conduct clandestine information collection on citizens of the United States who were determined by the NSA and the Justice Department to be “dangerous to US national security.” This story was made public in a New York Times article printed one year subsequent to reporters learning of the some 30 authorization to spy on approximately 500 US citizens, and consequent to Bush pleading with the reporters to snuff the truth. The President has made it clear that “no laws were broken.” Moreover, Bush is justifying his actions by claiming the eavesdropping go-ahead has “helped detect and prevent possible terrorist attacks in the United States and abroad,” and that publishing the NY Times article was irresponsible and has jeopardized his administration’s efforts to “fight the war on terror and safeguard national security.” The President went on to defend his actions in a Roosevelt Room speech on 18 Dec 05 stating that “the American people expect me to do everything in my power under our laws and Constitution to protect them and their civil liberties. And that is exactly what I will continue to do, so long as I'm the president of the United States." Critics from both ends of the political spectrum are asking “what laws.” I would argue that, despite the President’s claims to the contrary, it is clear he has violated the laws of the United States, namely the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA) of 1978, which is codified under Title 50, United States Code (USC), Chapter 36, and its codicils. Bush has also violated the Patriot Act.

BEFORE FISA
Let me be succinct; nobody is making an argument that our national leaders should sit idly by while would-be terrorists plot and execute nasty acts against the population and/or plan the violent overthrow of the US Government – that is simply a Bushite lie designed to divert attention and muddy the waters in an effort to exonerate the President. But we do expect them to follow the law. In fact, the courts and the Congress have consistently sided with the Executive Branch in its efforts to defend the nation against harm perpetrated domestically or otherwise, but within reason and within the parameters of the law. In Katz v. United States, 389 U.S. 347 (1967), the Supreme Court ruled that petitioner Katz was entitled to Fourth Amendment protection for his illegal telephone conversations even though the conversations were on a public pay phone and that a physical intrusion into the area he occupied was unnecessary to bring the Amendment into play. "The Fourth Amendment protects people, not places," wrote Justice Potter Stewart in delivering the opinion of the Court. The precedent in Katz is simple: The Government will not hide behind law enforcement to justify wonton invasion of privacy. In Berger v. New York, 388 U.S. 41, 50 (1967), the Court opined that "by its very nature eavesdropping involves an intrusion on privacy that is broad in scope," and that "few threats to liberty exist which are greater than those posed by the use of eavesdropping devices." In United States v. U.S. District Court, 407 U.S. 297 (1972), Justice Powell wrote that "waiving the Fourth Amendment probable cause requirement could lead the executive to yield too readily to pressures to obtain incriminating evidence and overlook potential invasions of privacy and protected speech” and that “the inconvenience to the government is justified in a free society to protect constitutional values." Based on the High Court’s steadfast reluctance to allow the Government unbridled erosion of the Fourth Amendment, and upon the plethora of Nixon-era eavesdropping authorizations aimed at everything from the activities of Vietnam War demonstrators to the Democratic National Committee, Congress sought to temper the need to conduct intelligence gathering with the Constitutional guarantees of the Fourth Amendment. FISA is the fruit of that effort.

THE LAW: FISA AND THE PATRIOT ACT
The Legislature’s intention in FISA was not to limit the constitutional power of the President to take such measures as he deems necessary to protect the United States, but was designed precisely to curb the kind of unfettered abuse of Fourth Amendment privilege President Bush arrogantly espouses and authorizes. Pursuant to FISA, the President and any of his subordinates must adhere to specific, well-defined guidelines when authorizing electronic espionage on foreign powers to collect Foreign Intelligence Information (FII) as defined in Subchapter I, §1801, Paragraph (a). The Government may engage in electronic surveillance to collect FII without a court order for periods up to one year as laid out in Subchapter I, §1802, at (a)(1)(B), however, there must be no "substantial likelihood" that the intercepted communications include those to which a U.S. person is a party. Furthermore, FISA expressly states in Subchapter I, §1811 “notwithstanding any other law, the President, through the Attorney General, may authorize electronic surveillance without a court order under this subchapter to acquire foreign intelligence information for a period not to exceed fifteen calendar days following a declaration of war by the Congress.” Since Congress did not declare war, §1811 is moot. Finally, there is the question of secrecy. FISA establishes “FISA Courts” with their own judges and jurisdiction to issue “secret” warrants for FII collection, the key word here being “FII.” There is no clause in FISA, implied or stated, that permits any government authority to conduct a warrantless search of a US citizen. Bush stipulates the efficacy of his war on domestic terrorism is contingent upon such warrantless searches. There is no doubt that domestic wiretapping may be a matter of national security; however, both FISA and the Patriot Act - THE LAW - require court ordered warrants for clandestine collection of electronic and physical evidence. FISA even permits a 72 hour "grace" period where the warrant can be obtained after-the-fact. Bush signed the Patriot Act into law - if he disagreed with any provision mandating third party scrutiny, he should have vetoed the bill - that's how the process works! It is important to remember the President vetos bills, not laws! Given Bush's record of thwarting legal precedence and thumbing his nose at the legal process, it is crystal clear that the President not only ignored the law when he ordered warrantless espionage on US citizens - he conspired to ignore the law. Congress and President Carter were mindful of how secrecy had been used to mask unlawful surveillance activity in the Nixon administration and mandated that every secret FISA warrant have as its primary purpose the collection of FII to frustrate those kinds of abuses. For example, a FISA judge cannot honor a Justice Department request to conduct clandestine surveillance on a potential beer heist at a local convenience store – that’s a matter of law enforcement, not national security. The FISA threshold is a high hurdle by design.

The Patriot Act does not change the requirement for a court ordered warrant for the Government to conduct covert surveillance operations on US citizens. The Patriot Act diminishes the level of justification the Government must bear to secure the warrant – from the Fourth Amendment requirement of “probable cause” to the less stringent “ex parte” context where a FISA judge may approve domestic wiretapping based solely upon the evidence presented by the Government -- the subject of the wiretap is not afforded the opportunity to rebut the request. This maintains the integrity of the secrecy requirement and provides civil rights protections. The right of the Government to secure ex parte orders heightens the potential for abuse, as the justification for issuance may rest upon scant suspicions rather than hard evidence; however, in striking a balance between Fourth Amendment probable cause precedent and the need to safeguard the nation from domestic terror, Congress chose to err on the side of caution and lower the evidentiary hurdle. What Bush needs to remember is that the 4th, 5th, and 14th Amendments are still intact and are still the law of the land despite his contention that the Constitution is "just a goddamn piece of paper." Neither FISA nor the Patriot Act negates those Amendments. President Bush’s authorization for spying on US Citizens clearly violates not only the applicable Constitutional protections, but flies against FISA and the Patriot Act as well. By circumventing the established process, Bush has clearly violated the law, and in a big way!

As to my point; FISA goes to great pains to delineate between foreign and domestic surveillance -- in a reverse psychology sort of way -- by NOT addressing domestic spying! And by not addressing how the Government may conduct espionage on US citizens, we can only surmise Congress was satisfied that existing law was adequate to prosecute cases against US citizens engaged in terrorism. We can’t assume our elected representatives didn’t include domestic spying in FISA because they forgot to or because they found the issue unimportant. In the aftermath of the 9/11 attacks, Congress and the President specifically addressed the topic of domestic terrorism by enacting the Patriot Act; however, even the Patriot Act, despite its tyrannical overtones, incorporated our revered system of checks and balances to curtail abuse. And as the Bush administration has demonstrated time and again, it is ready and willing to place itself above even the laws it pushed through Congress, and to violate the law by shamefully using fear to garner public support -- and then only after the illegal act is divulged in a widely read newspaper. This latest Bush-inspired pogrom on liberty begs the question - what other covert improprieties has the Bush administration championed in the name of national defense?

It would behoove our neocon friends to devote less time to apologizing and fabricating excuses for Bush's malfeasances and to stand down from their defensive postures and examine what we liberals see every day: A despotic, unprincipled President with no respect for national traditions, no respect for human dignity, and obviously not one iota of respect for the law. George Bush and his fascist milieu are dangerous people – they are dangerous to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness – they are a clear and present danger to democracy - and they delight in bringing fear, death, and destruction to all they touch. You neocons chide us liberals with "what is there not to like about what this President does?" Let us count the ways, but you'd better remove your shoes and socks - you're going to need those toes!

Vacreeper2003

I DID IT TO PROTECT YOU?

I did it to protect you! WTF? Bush please dont protect me!

Today was a little different. AP: "On
Saturday unapologetically defended his administration's right to conduct secret
post-Sept. 11 spying in the United States as "critical to saving American
lives."
"James Bamford, author of two books on the NSA, said the program
could be problematic because it bypasses a special court set up by the 1978
Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act to authorize eavesdropping on suspected
terrorists.
"I didn't hear him specify any legal right, except his right as
president, which in a democracy doesn't make much sense." "Today, what Bush said
is he went around the law, which is a violation of the law — which is illegal."
Larry
Johnson: "The revelation that the National Security Agency was allowed to
conduct non-FISA intercepts of American citizens should bring last summer's
hearing on John Bolton's nomination to the United Nations back into focus....

SPYING? WHO CARES!

Chimpy-07...

This domestic spying story is still in the process of breaking as we sit here. Bush initially said he couldn't comment on the story because of national security, but changed his mind and commented on it today. I guess his approval rating trumps national security. It seems fairly clear that Bush broke the law here, since there is an actual court designed to get secret warrants to spy in the US, and he signed a secret order to bypass the law. I don't expect the 35-40% of Americans still snowed by this cabal of criminals to raise much of a stink. Spending 10 minutes in PT will let you meet emptyheaded fools like Buttlogic, Archie, and drclean, all of whom have not a care in the world about their president breaking the law and violating the constitution. Now, if someone had signed a secret order to allow for clandestine blowjobs...

JC

CIVIL LIBERTIES ARE FOR SUCKERS

Disturbing...

I just cannot understand the reasonong of these conservatives. I read earlier this week about a meta-analysis done on the psychology of conservatism by researchers at UC Berkeley. Of the factors they identified, a marked Fear of Danger and Need for Terror Abatement emerged, coupled with a Disdain for Complex Solutions. And that is exctly what I'm finding today in PT.

jay-156 is making the classic wingnut argument that we shouldn't rush to judgment about Bush's ordering domestic spying by the NSA. Of course, I'm sure jay showed admirable and comparable restraint when wingnuts were on their Clinton Penis witchhunt. What rubbish. It's obvious the president issued an executive order to allow for warrantless spying, and, even worse, the NYT sat on the story for a year, conveniently not breaking the story right before the 2004 elections. What an odd coincidence. But jay couldn't care less about civil liberties. He attacks us because we "don't want America to be safe." Hello, jay! I want America to be AMERICA! The FBI already has procedures for emergency spying without warrants. Why give the NSA free reign to spy on American citizens without limit? Do you even care about the 4th amendment? Goddamnit, I hate these numbskulls. Who is going to stand up for American values, if the flag-draped jingoheads are ready and willing to hand the keys to the kingdom over to fascists?

JC

IF I WAS GOD

Parents who bring squalling brats to R-rated movies
Circle I Limbo

Creationists
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Greens
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Qusay Hussein
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Osama bin Laden
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

Uday Hussein
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Saddam Hussein
Circle VII Burning Sands

Republicans
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

George Bush
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

AND YOU SUPPORT THIS?

How can you support children dying?

SUCH POWER!

Muahahaha...

Well, I am certainly enjoying the unchecked, world-shifting power Karl has imbued me with. With these mortal hands, I weave the protoplasmic essence of the omniverse into any fearsome shape my mind imagines. My merest dream-whisper is instantly awash with sordid life and shambles into the filthy world to rend all living things with steel claws of pure hatred. Plus, I can red dot people.

Such wicked, wicked power. Can I be trusted with it? I submit that I cannot! I have just today stutter-stabbed the humid air with my mighty finger and ball-gagged the 700-headed Vic Ferrari Hydra. And I laughed maniacally with each and every stab! O, what horrors await us in the unfathomable depths of time? I know not, but this I can say with confidence: I will never get my comeuppance! NEVER! NO COMEUPPANCE!

JC

PS - Screw Flanders.

SEAN HANNITY'S FOXNEWS MAILBOX RUNNETH OVER

I sent an e-mail to Sean Hannity via the FOX News website asking him why he didn't find it "Fair & Balanced" to report to the American people that the President of the United States considers the US Constitution "just a goddamn piece of paper;"

Dear Sean

Is this the leader of the free world speaking? Is this the man who believes constitutional rule is so important that his nation would expend thousands of lives and untold treasure on bringing a Constitution to Iraq? Is this the Commander-in-Chief of all those GIs literally dying to defend the Constitution he calls a “goddamn piece of paper?”

WHERE-O-WHERE is YOUR outrage!!! I have no doubt had Bill Clinton said this, FOX News would be reporting it even today!! Why isn’t FOX News reporting something like this! Our President said this, for goodness sake.


This is the non-delivery notice (NDN) I received from the FOX News Exchange Server:

From: System AdministratorSent: Sunday, December 11, 2005 4:59 PMTo: Show -HannitySubject: Undeliverable:The Constitution is WHAT?
Your message did not reach some or all of the intended recipients.
Subject: The Constitution is WHAT?
Sent: 12/11/2005 9:06 AM

The following recipient(s) could not be reached:

Show -Hannity on 12/11/2005 4:59 PM

The message could not be delivered because the recipient's mailbox is full. [emphasis added]



I wonder if Sean checks his e-mail, or are his alterboys slacking in their efforts to pass only "Fair & Balanced" traffic to the irrefutably unfair & unbalanced Archbishop Hannity? It's beyond faculty to comprehend how the likes of Sean Hannity can pontificate about the enduring legacy of a living American Constitution yet he chooses to ignore and hide comments made by George Bush that disparage the very Constitution the Office of the President is sworn to uphold and defend. The hypocrisy is just intolerable! And Mssr. Sean fancies himself a journalist? In a pig's eye! Hannity's brand of professionalism is concerned only with appearances -- facts, truth, and precedence be damned so far as Dim Son in the White House is concerned! And to add insult to injury, this Hannity jokester is the mouthpiece our neocon nincompoops quote to us in PT every day? You can't help but wonder what Sean's e-mail box is full of! Go figure!

vacreeper2003

BY FAR, MY FAVORITE IS THE UMBO

Sorry about the light posting over the last few days. I have a final exam coming up on the Anatomy of the Ear, and I've been spending most of my time figuring out ways not to study for it. That is not to say, of course, that wingnuts have not been making fools of themselves in PT, because they have, but I've been so preoccupied with remembering whether my Inferior Colliculus is above or below my Medial Geniculate Body, (turns out, below) that I haven't had any good ideas for posts recently. I'm sure something will come soon enough. Until then, keep your External Auditory Meatuses tuned in.

JC

MOTHERS SACRIFICE

Todays discussion, including that of Mothers and Jess who both claim to have children fighting the Bush war. Has been very depressing. I sincerely hope they get home safely.

SELF EXAMINATION

From the safe, prosperous, ignorantly numb and arrogant middle of the United States. Where the reality of the conflict is NEVER presented on any public medium. Where your suffering is no more than a 2 minute update on the evening news sandwiched between reruns of "Seinfeld" and some sporting event. Out of all the lies, horrors, video and commentary on the war, your photo of that poor mother and her beautiful baby "the hope of life" so brutally extinguished has overwhelmed me in anger, tears and empathy. First, I am so so sorry for what my country has wrought upon your people. It is a wrong beyond my feeble attempts for words. My people ARE ignorant, believing only what is presented to them in the biased and sanitized media outlets. They are not only guilty of ignorance but a willful ignorance, which is worse. Americans don't want to know because in their hearts they really don't care. Of course, they would never ever admit that. The reality is they care about their food, ipods, NASCAR, PTA meetings, pursuit of money, and their indulgence in "sex, drugs and rock n roll". Our "rugged individualism" has mutated into blind selfishness. There are alternatives out there for information, most Americans don't want to know or find out the reality of our actions. We are fat and indulgent slaves to our appetites. Our moral failures abundantly obvious to everyone except us. Our women aren't even whores as one writer to this site posted a comment on our women and their immorality. They give it away with absolutely no guilt or shame to men who think nothing of satisfying their lusts on our next generation. Our corporations peddle useless products, noxious food, unhealthy habits and behaviors, then "double -dip" by selling the "cures" with the endorsement of government protection, tax breaks and direct funding. In the guise of freedom every form of licentiousness and debauchery is promoted not just to our children but the entire world via our pop culture. I cannot remember which communist leader said and I paraphrase. "America will never be defeated from an outside invader, it will rot from within and like an overripe peach will fall to the ground". New Orleans and its peoples rapid fall into anarchy could be a precursor of the consequences of America's self-indulgence and a "me first" attitude. The weak and powerless are rapidly abandoned and subsequently either die or turn into predator and prey in the name of "saving myself" during a time of trial. Asia is going to become a dominant power in the world. I cannot believe my country will share power or lose power gracefully. My people genuinely believe they are better than other people and entitled to the birthright of our wealth. I am deeply afraid of a sudden and catastrophic attack upon America that would devastate our way of life. Not because of the suffering, in which every American has via representative government earned a taste. No, I fear for the world’s children that have to face the most powerful country in the history of the world becoming desperate to survive. There is among the "common man" an ignorant, nationalistic fervor building in direct proportion to fear of not being the most wealthy and powerful. I am ashamed to say that "The Great Experiment" of our founding fathers has succumbed to exactly that which was predicted by the likes of Thomas Jefferson and George Washington. Freedom and liberty has without a legitimate faith been perverted into decadent self-indulgence. Like a great predator who enjoys a full belly and good health isn't as much of a threat but when injured or starving becomes dangerous and unpredictable. So will be the downfall of the United States of America. But not just to Iraq and a few other countries. I am afraid that when we go down, our inherent selfishness coupled with millions of tons of destructive power will not hesitate to take the entire world with us. May the Merciful One to whom you pray at night help us all. (THE ABOVE POSTING PLAGIARISED FROM "IRAQTUNNEL")

MAIN STREAM FAKE OUT!

Main Stream Politics was not its usual self today. Actually it was not Main Stream Politics. The conservatives took over and made their own Main Stream Politics faking out all that frequent Main Stream.

HOW Sick of them!

This duck was fooled and wants to protest the room. The duck is not going to attend any of these fake rooms again..

Quack quack

THE KISS!?

Lieberman "out-hawks" McCain

Remember the Kiss? Never forget the kiss.
John McCain on Imus this
morning:
"Your and my dear friend Joe Lieberman, just came back from a trip
there and wrote a piece in the WSJ, where he was very optimistic. I may not be
as optimistic as Joe, but I do think we're making progress..."
It certainly
seems likes Joe is bucking for Rummy's job. He out McCain's-McCain.
Here's
the video of President Bush planting a wet one on Joe

THE FOURTH WALL

"I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse."

Ok, you're watching a comedy movie, and let's say it's about two brothers who go on a trip to Tibet to compete in a Yak race. I know, it's a stupid idea, which means it's only a matter of time before it gets greenlighted. So, you're watching The Yakfather, and in one scene, the two brothers are talking, and one says something like, "This is all like a big movie!" And his brother says, "Yeah, right, who would pay money to watch a movie about two brothers in a yak race?!" And then they both stop and look out at the audience. Killer gag, people love it. It's called breaking the fourth wall.

Why do I bring this up? Well, tonight, I ended up in PM with MrArchieBunker. And no, you sick freaks, it wasn't a cyber. Can't take you people anywhere. So, instead of hurling insults and accusations like usual, we actually had a nice reasonable conversation about politics. Now, never mind the details, I don't want to ruin either my or his partisan hack street cred, but it was a truly odd experience.

Now, I know that a lot of you enjoy hearing us slam ignorant wingnuts and subtly (and not so subtly) questioning their commitment to purely intraspecies sex, so I'm certainly not going to mess with a winning formula. That said, for the forseeable future, we'll just continue to act as if PT wingnuts are drooling morally-debased cretins. And PT wingnuts are welcome to continue to act as if liberals are all emptyheaded commie-loving satanists. And we'll both try and forget the awful moment when we realized that our opponent was actually a normal, rational human being.

JC

PS - Brutelogic is still an idiot. And Ann Coulter is a man. I'm just sayin'...

VIC THE CABLE GUY

Let’s face it folks – listening to Vic Ferrari’s retro-drivel is a gut-wrenching experience. Watching his raised hand float like a turd in a swimming pool to the top of the pecking order on the mic brings on a sense of impending doom, and I find myself subconsciously reaching for the attenuation knob on my keyboard. But Vic is also a funny man every so often, much like Larry the Cable Guy – hick humor is OK in small doses. So I listened, half hoping for something different, half expecting to be amused. Alas, it was not to be. It was the same old Alabama neocon repertoire of Nazi nostalgia he’s been pimping for years. Even a minute deepening of his effeminate voice would be a welcomed change, but that would require the definitive chicken hawk to grow a pair. That didn’t happen either.

Instead we were privy to a sneak-peek of the best of neocon politi-porn - a manage-á-trois flick starring Vic Ferrari Forever, Karma_NY, and Vigilant Reason. Our one-act opens stage right – far right – where the blushing bride, played by actor (or is it actress?) Vic Ferrari sensually oils his way to center stage to sodomize the mic with a script of thinly veiled lies about how liberals hate America and how Cindy Sheehan really hates her murdered son. Our bridegroom, portrayed by the cowardly and apparently mute Vigilant Reason, pleasured himself with a handjob - he and Vic made passionate love - Hot Lips Vic at the mic and Vigilant at his keyboard hanging on Vic's every syllable - both were purring like kittens! Vicky is hoping Vigilant’s tongue is as talented as his key stroking! Anyway, realizing the audience was repulsed by his veritable raping of the mic and numbed by his propensity to perjure himself; Vic ad libs and calls for reinforcements; enter Karma_NY, ersatz patriot, full time lying liar, and overtime neocon toady. Karma unsuccessfully tried to lend credibility to Vic’s trashcapade with a barrage of self-aggrandizing asides and a couple of soulless arias – an overall uninspiring and rather disappointing performance. The rest of the story is the same old libretto; the same old bag of lies; the same stale arpeggiated nattering we've come to expect from this treacherous trio. This play had all the trappings of a 3-ring circus - the only thing missing was the laugh track! If only PT had canned laughter as a chat feature – the laugh meter would be pegged every time Vic deploys his triad of neocon nitwits.

If you want to know how bad things are going for Bush and his retinue of merry dark-siders, just count the number of times Vic, Vigilant, and Karma laugh at their own lies – watch for the LOLs – there is direct proportionality! As more and more of the neocon aficionados are frog-marched to a prison near you, Vic and his cheery band of right-wingnuts get increasingly vicious in their attacks on those “evil pinko-commie liberals.” It just proves what we already know – the neocons are absolutely beside themselves with anxiety. Vic's increasingly vitriolic liberal-bashing is demonstrative of that desperation as he surely senses the bad karma engulfing the Repukes. Vic and his supporting cast of ignominious partisans don’t like what they’re seeing, so they mouth a daily rewrite of the facts á la the Spin Firm of Limbaugh, Hannity, O'Reilly and Rove - all in a poor attempt to make their man in Washington look good. We aren’t fooled Vic. And as for last night's production; well, I'll give it a resounding two-thumbs down - the acting was atrocious and the plot was pure fantasy!

RUT ROH, SHAGGY

It's all about the Velma, baby!

I think we need to call Scooby and the gang in the Mystery Van. Put down that bong, Shaggy! Knock off that sexual tension, Fred and Daphne! You too, Daphne and Velma! Well, don't knock off that sexual tension too quickly, D & V...you think maybe you guys want to kiss? I'll just sit quietly and watch...

Ok, wait, forget that, there's a mystery to be solved! A real PT mystery. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm getting a little worried. This string of unexplained disappearances have got me stumped. No sooner does a wingnut get finished emptying his septic tank into our earholes, but that very wingnut will vanish! Vic got done with his usual lies and insults, (this time unironically decrying Cindy Sheehan's characterization of Bush supporters as "brainwashed" while calling Cindy "The Witch in the Ditch." Self-awareness, thy name is Ferrari!) and then he just disappeared. The only clues at the scene were a faint scent of brimstone, a black powder on the floor, and a fully lubed 2 foot double-dildo.

Not half an hour later, Karma_NY regaled us with his newest work of science fiction, about an alternate universe version of the United States where Bush still has majority support, and everyone still believes he didn't lie us into war. Good luck with getting that published, K. As far as we could tell, at the exact moment Karma released the mic, his name vanished from the list. Some speculate that he just immediately closed the room to avoid getting a spanking from Karen_Dances, but that can't be right, because who would give up the chance for some stinging FemDom action from a 6-foot statuesque Amazon like Karen? Not me, I can tell you that.

In any event, we don't have any good leads on this developing mystery. The most prosaic explanation, that wingnuts don't have to courage to stick around and get slapped upside the head with the mighty frozen Halibut of Liberal Truth, well, that's just silly. Everyone knows wingnuts are the most courageous of all species of mollusks. And that's some putrid, malodorous courage. I guess we'll have to let the Mystery Gang work the case. You know, I wonder if, when all this Iraq War shenanigans is over with, we'll see old man Dubya Bush clapped in irons, wheezing, "I would've got away with it if it wasn't for you meddling Democrats!" A man can dream, can't he?

JC

VIC STANDS UP FOR HIS PRINCE CHARMING

We can't make it any plainer than this...

Tonight, Vic is whining and rubbing up against this story about Ann Coulter being heckled at UConn. Now, the last time Mr. Coulter gave a speech, he barely avoided a pie to the face. Unfortunately, that would probably have been the best meal he'd have all year. Now, my liberal leanings mean that I have nothing but support and admiration for Vic's noble attempts to be with his true love, regardless of the obstacles the Religious Right wackos put in his path. Just remember, Vic, your marriage to Mr. Coulter probably won't be recognized in any state other than Massachusetts, at least for now. Hey, I wonder whether Vic will take Ann's last name, or if Coulter will soon be known as Ann Forever.

For a special treat, visit these two sites to read some scandalous tales of Ann's previous deviance. Don't tell Vic, though. I know he wants to think he's the first wingnut to make a run at that diseased chocolate starfish.

JC

HOW MUCH?

Just had an enlightening conversation with our blue-haired friend flalady_1. Seems the old biddy is intent on impressing us with the size of her rapidly expanding...wallet:

flalady_1: Jesus I care
flalady_1: that is why I give to causes I agree with u fool
per diem: fla....who gives a rats ass looooool
flalady_1: i give a rats ass'
muuufasa: flalady: Let me check and see if I care?........................NOPE
per diem: flabroad...then you're the only one looooool
flalady_1: let me see if I care about lazy people??
flalady_1: nope
flalady_1: jesus I bet u did not give what I gave to Katrina
flalady_1: I am sure u did not
muuufasa: flalady: Is that all lazy people or just minorities?
flalady_1: did I mention race
flalady_1: minority
SWEETVANILLAMAMMI: WELL FLA ALOT OF PEOPLE DONT HAVE WHAT YOURE HUBBY MAKES.. BUT THEY DONATED THEIR TIME..WHICH IS JUST AS VALUABLE
per diem: flabroad giving big bucks trying to atone for her sins looooooool
flalady_1: hell no
Jesus Claus: oh yeah, how much did you give?
Jesus Claus: you seem so eager to share, so share
flalady_1: I am reading and I am apalled
flalady_1: too many nuts
flalady_1: jesus a huge amount
Jesus Claus: quantify it
flalady_1: but none of your business
Jesus Claus: your huge amount might be pennies to me
flalady_1: we gave a lot
Jesus Claus: define "a lot"
flalady_1: jesus my pennies?????????????????????????
Jesus Claus: don't be afraid
flalady_1: get a grip
Jesus Claus: you want to impress us with your wealth, so go for it
Jesus Claus: tell us how much you gave
flalady_1: I probably gave as much as u make in 3 yrs
flalady_1: or more
Jesus Claus: 3 years, huh?
Jesus Claus: and how much is that?
Jesus Claus: give us a dollar amount
Jesus Claus: because i might earn a lot of money
Jesus Claus: i might live on investment income
Jesus Claus: i might be very very wealthy
flalady_1: but that is not why we gave
Jesus Claus: so how much did you give?
Jesus Claus: you made an issue of it, so tell us
flalady_1: jesus, I am sure u r not
flalady_1: i can tell
Jesus Claus: how would you possibly know?
SWEETVANILLAMAMMI: I know but u cant b down on those who couldnt afford to give money but gave what they could.. even if it was just time
flalady_1: i kow
flalady_1: know
Jesus Claus: do you know where i live?
flalady_1: trust me
Jesus Claus: do you know how much it costs to live here?
Jesus Claus: I used to live in Florida, for 400 dollars a month
flalady_1: nope where u live makes no difference
Jesus Claus: nice one bedroom apartment
flalady_1: but I know
Jesus Claus: here, 400 a month won't get you a broom closet
Jesus Claus: so, how much did you give?
buster136: RELIGION IS A VOODOO CURSE
flalady_1: 400???
Jesus Claus: you brought it up
flalady_1: omgggggggggggggggg
Jesus Claus: 400 a month rent, one bedroom
bekki_wv: flalady you can tell how someone talks or typed things in words ,,,,,,,,, to how much money they have ,,,,,,,,,,let me tell you something I know people that don't look or act like they have any money and they are very rich
fJesus Claus: nice place, clean, good area
flalady_1: yes I can tell
Jesus Claus: close to downtown, 400 a month
Jesus Claus: so, you brought it up, tell us how much you gave to katrina?
flalady_1: my husband needs me
Jesus Claus: if you gave 3x my yearly income, you might have given a lot of money
per diem: fla is no christian.....real christians don't hang teir boobs out on cam
flalady_1: so will u all miss me??? lmao
SWEETVANILLAMAMMI: my hubby needs to find a gf.ahahah
Jesus Claus: goodbye, coward

So, there you have it. Now, far be it from me to ask someone what their income is. Personally, I think that employees should discuss their wages with each other. It only benefits the company that employees don't find out if they're being compensated fairly. But that's a different issue.

On this issue, however, the course could not be clearer. flalady_1 is constantly looking for attention, and you can almost see her wilt as the room collectively decides to ignore her latest scam to become Queen Prissypants of the Lookatme Forest. But let's face it, if you come out and make such a baldfaced statement, that you "know" you give more than someone else, and you "know" how much they make., you'd better be ready to put up or shut up. So, come on, flalady_1, out with it. How much did you give to Katrina? Was it so much that you couldn't afford your Depends?

JC

PS - I was trying to find a funny picture of flalady_1 to post, but when you put the word "granny" into Google Image Search...it's just too awful for words. I hate the Interweb.

WINGNUT LIE #4,535,678

LOL!!1! PWNED!!11!oneoneone

What a fool Buttlogic is. And what a fool he must think we are. Take a look at his latest lie:

Governor Brutelogic: Kerry = "American soldiers need to be going into the homes of Iraqis in the dead of night, terrorizing kids and children"........... disgusting
Governor Brutelogic: Kerry..............Anti Military.....wow, no big change
stevedtrm: BRUTE LOGIC HE ACTUALLY SAID THAT ?
Governor Brutelogic: Steve......yes
stevedtrm: BRUTE CAN U SHOW ME WHERE HE SAYS THAT ?
stevedtrm: I HATE KERRY TOO U SEE
stevedtrm: WANNA BE ABLE TO QUOTE THAT
Governor Brutelogic: Steve......its all over......wow, lol
stevedtrm: UMM BRUTE
Governor Brutelogic: steve......... http://www.townhall.com/blogs/c-log/BPhillips/story/2005/12/05/177835.html
Governor Brutelogic: Steve........was an interview with kerry
Governor Brutelogic: steve......oh, those are Kerrys WORDS........fact
stevedtrm: brute would you repeat the quote with 5 words before ?
stevedtrm: BRUTE..... PLS REPEAT THE QUOTE WITH THE PRECEDNING 5 WORDS
Governor Brutelogic: Steve........ck the site.......the entire commie stuff is there
stevedtrm: I HAVE BRUTE
stevedtrm: NOW IM ASKING YOU TO REPEAT THE QUOTE
stevedtrm: WITHT EH PRECEDING 5 WORDS
stevedtrm: THE
stevedtrm: BRUTE U HEAR ME ?
Governor Brutelogic: Steve......no, this is font......not actual voice
stevedtrm: BRUTE WHATS FONT GOT TO DO WITH REPEATING THE QUOTE ?
Governor Brutelogic: Steve.......the entire speel is on the website
stevedtrm: BRUTE, YES AND WILL U PELASE COPY AND PASTE THE SAME STATEMENT U POSTED BEFORE WITH THE PRECEDING 5 WORDS?
Governor Brutelogic: stevy.....lol, I seen Kerry say it myself.........commie stuff
Barsallameuth: WOW BRUTE YOU HAVE OBTAINED A TITLE WORTHY OF YOUR INCESSANT DRONE OF BULLSHIT AND STUPIDITY...LOL
stevedtrm: Brute then why wont u repeat the same words he said with the previous 5 words
Barsallameuth: LOL STEVE, BRUTE CANT COUT PAST 3
stevedtrm: BRUTE... SO LETS GET THIS STRAIGHT U REFUSE TO COPY AND PASTE THE SAME SATEMENT WITH THE PREVIOUS FIVE WORDS?
Governor Brutelogic: mounds bar..... wow, very original.
Governor Brutelogic: Steve.......sorry, its all there........end this convo
stevedtrm: A SIMPLE YES WILL END THE CONVO BRUTE
stevedtrm: BRUTE WILL YOU REPEAT THE SAME STATEMENT U ALREADY QUOTED?

Now, stevetrm just spent a good ten minutes blowing Buttlogic out of the water. The actual quote, with opening restored, is as follows:

John Kerry: And there is no reason, Bob, that young American soldiers need to be going into the homes of Iraqis in the dead of night, terrorizing kids and children

The full quote has the exact opposite meaning of what Buttlogic was trying to imply. Far from endorsing those actions, Kerry was explicitly arguing against them. Dammit, Brute, this is the fucking Internet! Did you really think we wouldn't be able to prove you wrong faster than your last sexual experience? What would possess you to doctor that quote and try to parade past us like Bugs Bunny in drag? We're not dumb enough to fall in love with you like Elmer Fudd, and we're damn sure not going to accept as fact some bilge you trawled out of Townhall.com. Go try to sell that shit to Bush HQ. We ain't buying.

Kudos go to stevetrm for seeing the lie almost instantaneously and finding the actual quote within 5 minutes. Listen, Buttlogic, I know your side is beginning to panic now that Republicans are actually pleading out and starting to rat out their cronies. But that's no excuse for this kind of sloppiness. The people who paid Armstrong Williams, Maggie Gallagher, and those Iraqi journalists to publish propaganda expect more out of you than this paltry display. If there were a Patron Satisfaction Card for your work here, you'd be getting very low marks from me.

JC

PS - Fun Fact! The letters in Brutelogic can be rearranged to spell Bigot Ulcer! Try it for yourself!

SORRY, VIC, WRONG AGAIN

"Just nine more payments, and that baby's all mine!"

Vic Ferrari (nee Forever) is trying to sell more of his nonsense. This time, the vaunted Mr. Fucktardi gives us the Generosity Index, an informal survey purporting to show that the poorer southern states are more giving than the skinflints in New England:

New Hampshire was the most miserly state for the fourth year running and the seventh year in the past nine, according to the Catalogue of Philanthropy. Massachusetts was runner-up in parsimony and Rhode Island and Connecticut also were among the half-dozen stingiest.

Mississippi retained its title as most generous state, one of several in the Bible Belt that ranked high in the latest Generosity Index, whose methodology has come under criticism and helped give rise to new studies of charitable giving.

The index, which takes into account both "having" and "giving," is based on average adjusted gross incomes and the value of itemized charitable donations reported to the Internal Revenue Service on 2003 tax returns, the latest available.

But wait, researchers say that the GI is an improper way to assess generosity:

The Boston Foundation study concluded that the index presents an undeserved image of New England as a region comprised of Yankee skinflints whose charitable instincts are out of sync with the rest of the nation.

"If everyone in Massachusetts gave 100 times as much to charity as we do today and everything else remains the same, we wouldn't get above the bottom half of the chart," said David Trueblood, a spokesman for the foundation. "And no matter what Mississippi did, it couldn't fall below 22nd or 23rd."

The Boston Foundation proposed an alternate measure of generosity based on each state's share of overall charitable contributions and income, adjusted for differences in taxes and living costs. Using that methodology, Massachusetts' generosity ranking last year would be eleventh, instead of 49th.

So, that index is actually far from accurate. And check out how the spokesman for the GI defends himself:

Cohn said he was disappointed that the Boston Foundation chose to attack the index without understanding that its purpose is to promote discussion about philanthropy and that it never sought to hang a label on any state.

"Our numbers were never purported to be scientific," Cohn said. "Our goal is not to make anybody feel good or feel bad."

Never meant to be scientific, huh? Well, there you have it. Now, I guess we'd expect Vic to fall for a nonscientific survey without exploring the story any deeper. After all, science standards in middle school must be fairly deplorable in Alabama. Maybe if Vic had made it to high school, this could all have been averted. Dammit, why did his stupid sister, Charlene, have to go and get pregnant? Vic told her to hang upside down from the rafters after they wuz done snugglin', but the bitch never listens. Oh well, maybe if he goes to night school at the junior college after finishing his shift at the junkyard, he can get his GED and get some real work at the factory. At least make enough money to get his El Camino off the cinder blocks...

JC

SCREW THE WORLD

On 5 Dec 05, the Mainstream Politics room was, for lack of a better description, a virtual melting pot – an amalgam of viewpoints peppered with insults, intrigue, and powerful emotions – a smelting of some brilliant political analysis intermingled with some of the most unintelligible prattle to ever packet-switch its way through the Internet Cloud. And then there’s Vigilant Reason; the commensurate neocon basket case, who for five merciless hours, let loose a stream of verbal dung only he could generate. Take, for example, this little gem-of-a-comment:

Vigilant Reason: SCREW THE WORLD

How can a man this eloquent be relegated to such a mundane existence on PalTalk? Surely such a character capable of making such a weighty statement is worthy of an audience a step-above the fray! No three words coming from an individual otherwise known to be just a tad skimpy on intellect could have been more truthful, more revealing, or more elucidating than these. No trifecta of words in the English language could better describe the Bushite worldview than “SCREW THE WORLD.” We’ve all heard the neocons, in lemming-like fashion, belly-up to the mic and sing the praises of George the Lesser, but none of them have ever been as succinct as Vigilant with his “SCREW THE WORLD” pronouncement. Is this true genius, or is it that one-in-a-million chance someone with the acumen of a wart might say something that sounds intelligent - purely by accident? Being familiar with Vigilant’s past commentary – I’ll slap my money down on the latter. I digress.

You’re right Vigilant – Bush has SCREWED THE WORLD – with lies, with murder, with war, with torture, and with terrorist acts rivaled only by some of history’s other unsavory dictators: Stalin, Hitler, Idi Amin, Pol Pot, et al. You know the drill.

BUSH AND HOLIDAY CARD?

Dear George,

WTF happened to the Christmas card?

-Duck

The wingnuts respond to the White House "Holiday" card:
"This clearly demonstrates that the Bush administration has suffered a loss of will and that they have capitulated to the worst elements in our culture," said William A. Donohue, president of the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights
"Bush "claims to be a born-again, evangelical Christian. But he sure doesn't act like one," said Joseph Farah, editor of the conservative Web site WorldNetDaily.com. "I threw out my White House card as soon as I got it."
Did Bill O'Reilly and John Gibson get their Holiday cards?

IS IT ETERNITY ALREADY?

Was Dubya driving?

How strange. Just got back to the room, (after watching Shaolin Master Killer. Kick ass, thanks for asking) and look who's here: Vic Ferrari. Hmmm, let's see; bright blue text, check; all caps, check; complete ignorance, check. But what happened to the "forever"? Is it forever already? Lost the courage of your convictions, Vicky?

I heard Vicky got through to Karl's radio interview program. I know Karl was pleased, because any controversy is good for ratings, after all. Vic, however, was in rare form, as he fired off a sure-fire, never-miss, breathtakingly-stupid query. It was a classic in the vein of Vic's hero, the 46-IQ man, Sean Hannity. First, you read off a quote out of context from a liberal, and then you demand that the guest support or repudiate the quote. It's mind-numbingly silly, but Vic, unable to process more than the most basic of ideas, is a big slobbering fan of the tactic. I hear both Karl and his guest slapped Vic's nose with a newspaper and shooed him outside into the rain like a dog that won't stop humping leg. Rather than sit outside, wet and whimpering, with his nose fogging up the glass, Vic decided to lope over here and bother us. I wonder if he'll piss off if I give him a rawhide chewtoy?

Remember those cartoons where the big boss bulldog in the knit cap had that annoying little yappy dog bouncing around saying, "yeah, boss," "whatever you say, boss,"? Vic now has his own little toady in the form of slammer_18. I had thought slammer had more self respect than that, but I imagine that, like most wingnuts, he gets his kicks being tied up in a black leather mask and being horsewhipped by his mistress, while she stomps his nuts and calls him a little toad.

Vic is now on mic, and I've never heard a more disgusting example of bigotry and hatred. He says nothing but lies, and has no clue as to what is really going on in this country. Only 35% of America still supports the ideas this fool retches out. Now he is even talking about some protestors at a Hillary Clinton rally, and whining about free speech. Never bothers to mention that EVERY SINGLE speech Bush gives excludes opposing viewpoints. At literally EVERY campaign speech Bush gave in 2004, protestors were kept out, and now there are lawsuits against him for illegally keeping people out of taxpayer funded events. Now, clearly, Vic is fully and completely aware of all of this, but he is so deathly afraid of being called on his own team's illegalities that he has to bluster and spit out completely irrelevant nonsense.

Just listen to anything a wingnut says. I know, it's painful, but really listen. Every crime they accuse, they are guilty of. Every tactic they decry, they invented. Every lie they tell, it's to hide the truth of their own guilty hearts. Never trust a wingnut.

JC

WHY THE RIGHT IS WRONG

This is a killer essay by Dave Johnson over at The Umbrella Movement (originally from Seeing the Forest). Take a good look at this part:

For example, everyone used to think that it is moral to help the poor or protect the environment, so there are organizations that are designed to do that. Then along comes the right, funding organizations designed to convince people it is wrong to do these things. The result today is that on one side you have organizations trying to help the poor, protect the environment, etc. On the other you have organizations telling people what those organizations are doing is wrong. But now you have no one explaining to people that it is GOOD to help the poor and protect the environment so over time support for helping the poor obviously will erode and eventually the organizations that help the poor will be in trouble and have little public support.

This is really the battlefield we are fighting on, and this, to put it simply, is why they win. While we work to solve problems, they work to tear down problemsolvers. I have said it before and I'll say it here again: The right is winning because they demonize the left, and we will never be able to beat them until we accept that and begin to demonize them back. There's no need to make up lies, that's their game. But we know the right is wrong on every major issue. Now it's time to start getting that message out there.

JC

WELL DONE INDEED

Take a look at this dialogue between a Peacenik and a Warmonger. I swear, it's like they could replace "warmonger" with Mosesknows or Brutelogic. My favorite part:

WM: For the last time, we are invading Iraq because the world has called on Saddam Hussein to disarm, and he has failed to do so. He must now face the consequences.

PN: So, likewise, if the world called on us to do something, such as find a peaceful solution, we would have an obligation to listen?

WM: By "world", I meant the United Nations.

PN: So, we have an obligation to listen to the United Nations?

WM: By "United Nations" I meant the Security Council.

PN: So, we have an obligation to listen to the Security Council?

WM: I meant the majority of the Security Council.

PN: So, we have an obligation to listen to the majority of the Security Council?

WM: Well... there could be an unreasonable veto.

PN: In which case?

WM: In which case, we have an obligation to ignore the veto.

PN: And if the majority of the Security Council does not support us at all?

WM: Then we have an obligation to ignore the Security Council.

PN: That makes no sense.

Priceless.

JC

KLB THE GAY MINISTER?

According to anonymous sources, it turns out that Minister KLB is actually a drag queen Christian that preaches at a Conservative KKK Lutheran Church.

The Duck is not surprised!
QUACK QUACK!

THE DARK SIDE

Go visit this Flash cartoon and find out how to sell your soul to the GOP. Go on, you're not using that soul anyway.

JC

PLAYING DUMB

Karl's catapult, the Wingnut Ejector 3000

Well, well, we did have some fun tonight in Mainstream.The room is infested with wingnuts tonight, including VIGILANT REASON, a mindless regurgitator of ALL CAPS spin points. I seriously wonder if V isn't just an elaborate hoax, the shit he spews is so dense. Mensch Shiksa is also lending his/her hermaphroditic opinion to the fray. Buttlogic seems a little under the weather. Here's hoping he doesn't recover too quickly. Ah, but the star of the show, MrArchieBunker, is sadly no longer with us. He got strapped into the Big Catapult and shot off over the horizon.

It seems Arch was playing his old game of Pearl-clutching Tattletale-ism. He loves to come into liberal rooms where he knows he can't really win a debate, (unless calling someong a commie pinko counts as winning, and it hasn't for 20 years) and start pointing out phantom TOS violations. Last night, he got all hyperventilatey at my suggestion that a traitorous Veep should be hung. Tonight he flapped his hands and clucked at Tom Joad analogizing that if he came to Arch and whanged him with a baseball bat, he'd hardly expect Arch to fall in love with him. Simple analogy for Iraq, I would think, but Arch needs to run and tell teacher whenever he's losing at a game. Karl, natch, was having none of it, and bounced his silly ass for threatening to call a Red Coat. Game over, Arch, you lose.

JC

STUMBLEUPON

Look what happens when you drink and Segway

A long time ago I found Stumbleupon, and used it for awhile. Then I switched to using Firefox to browse, and stopped using it. But Firefox has a StumbleUpon extension, so I'm using it again. What is StumbleUpon, you ask? Well, let me tell you.

I have many webpages i like to visit, but once I've exhausted them all for the day, what do I do? How do I find new cool things to see on the web? The answer is StumbleUpon. Install the StumbleUpon bar on your browser, check off the topics you are interested in, then start Stumbling. You will find tons of stuff you'd never even think to look for. Just today, I found an Ascii presentation of Star Wars, a web library of free literature, a list of Dumb Criminals, and tons of funny videos and flash cartoons. go to StumbleUpon today and start stumbling.

JC

CONDILEEZA TO BE QUEEN

The planets all lined up wrong just then, and we had several "celebrities" in a row.. Jesseado, RaisinCane and Mothers, and others. They want Condi to get pregnant, So I just had to show you that it is part of policy, but it's "hard work" We intend to "stay the course" and "heck of a job, browny"

THE CONSERVATIVE MR BUNKER

MrArchieBunker, a frequent flyer amongst the circus of neocon hacks on PalTalk, is known to serve-up some of the more ridiculous, half-baked notions in the Mainstream Politics room, and in this go-around, he appears to be foraging at the bottom of his cage! Here we have an archetypal Bush regime lackey blaming death and destruction in Iraq on “another deadly liberal lie,” and that Michael Moore, Cindy Sheehan, Howard Dean, and Ted Kennedy are somehow responsible for the carnage there. While we all hold out for “and a partridge in a pair tree” to make MrArchieBunker’s list, here are a couple of his more potent witticisms in Mainstream Politics for you to peruse:

MrArchieBunker: So another deadly liberal lie, designed to weaken the support for the West's war against terror is exploded: that the war in Iraq is a distraction from the war on terror

MrArchieBunker: Just the opposite is true: the war in Iraq is the key to the war on terror. Imagine if Iraq was controlled by Zarqawi which is what Michael Moore and Cindy Sheehan fervently wish for, and what Howard Dean and Ted Kennedy would accomplish.

Isn’t it amazing how The Former Texas Governor’s supporters casually expunge from their collective memory that it was George Bush who unabashedly abused the vast resources at the disposal of the Chief Executive to manufacture the most pernicious pack-o-lies to ever escape the White House? Don’t you find it at least modestly disingenuous that each time the truth debunks the prevailing neocon rationale for illegally invading Iraq, the likes of MrArchieBunker will instinctively latch on to the latest and greatest Rush Limbaugh-spawned proxy-lie? Isn’t it remarkable how neocons like MrArchieBunker complain incessantly about paying taxes to help their own people, praise the Bush misadministration for shamelessly squandering $350 billion of US treasure on the likes of Halliburton – ostensibly to help the Iraqi people? Isn’t it incredible how MrArchieBunker conveniently ignores that it is George Bush who, under the guise of ushering in democracy to the Middle-East, is, in effect, using the Iraqi population as human shields against “tairists” George Bush invited to Iraq in his 2 July 2003 “bring ‘em on” speech? Don’t you find it disgraceful that MrArchieBunker mocks the American troops dispatched to do Bush’s dirty-work by trumpeting the neocon battle cry “you freely signed up and volunteered to die.” Isn’t it disheartening that MrArchieBunker’s loathing for Muslims is so profound that he has no compunction about lounging in his fart-infested office chair, and in raw unfettered breath magnanimously calls for the ultimate sacrifice to be made by other peoples’ children to satisfy his bloodlust?”

MrArchieBunker states that liberals believe the war in Iraq is a “distraction from the war on terror,” and that “just the opposite is true: the war in Iraq is the key to the war on terror.” MrArchieBunker is wrong on both accounts.

Liberals oppose this war because Bush lied to the American people and to the world about why he invaded Iraq. Secretary of State Colin Powell sat before the United Nations on 5 Feb 2003 and stated emphatically that the UN must take immediate action to eliminate Saddam Hussein’s capability to strike the continental US with an ICBM in a 45 minute window – an attack he and his boss knew was impossible. Bush underling Dick “dick” Cheney propagated the lie via careful application of his special fear-mongering fertilizer on several occasions. Bush lied to Congress, America, and the world when he mouthed a “fact” he knew to be a boldfaced lie – the now infamous “yellow-cake” fabrication. Bush, Cheney, and National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice refused to elucidate why the 6 August 2001 Presidential Daily Brief (PDB) document entitled Bin Laden Determined to Attack Inside the United States was brushed aside as unimportant. Bush and his cronies then have the audacity to summarily heap all the blame for this ill-conceived war on the intelligence community, and even that panned out to be another load of neocon manure. Liberals oppose this war because the loss of life and the eradication of Iraqi civilization do not justify the clear-as-mud ends. We liberals oppose this war because no one has made the case that slaughtering over 140,000 Iraqi men, women and children is the key to ending terrorism; indeed, the American people were misled for months following 9/11 that capturing Osama Bin Laden was the key to stemming terrorism. Moreover, we now know the Iraq war plans were finalized in February 2001 – some 7 months prior to 9/11. Succumbing to the embarrassment of truth-gone-public, Bush admitted he knew Iraq had NOTHING to do with the 9/11 attacks -- yet he still invaded -- go figure! We liberals oppose Bush because we can no longer tolerate an administration that overtly and arrogantly abrogates treaty obligations, violates constitutional rule, denigrates the good counsel of a loyal opposition, propagates insidious lies, relegates human life to cannon fodder, and shamefully bullies, smears, and impugns its own colleagues and constituents who dare challenge an inherently flawed agenda. We object to Bush and his policies because we do not believe America is any safer from terrorist attacks than it was on 9/10, and is perhaps more vulnerable because the real focus of the Bush agenda is rooted in financial gratification for himself and his chums rather than on promoting the common good of the nation where it rightfully belongs.

MrArchieBunker fails to comprehend that brazen lies undermine trust and that lies platitudinized with patriotic blather are lies yet, and are not terms of endearment when lives are being lost. MrArchieBunker refuses to open his eyes and see that it is not liberals who are responsible for Abu Musab al-Zarqawi’s rise to prominence in Iraq, but that it is Bush and his faction of corporate whores who are bastardizing the “war on terror” to obfuscate the wholesale redistribution of American and Iraqi wealth to those who Bush proclaimed to be his “base” on 20 October 2000 -- it is THEY who bring the al-Zarqawis of the world to bear. If MrArchieBunker wants to implicate someone for the weakening American economy, for the enduring fiasco in Iraq, for the declining quality of life in America, and for the mass imprisonment of the American people to poverty, insurance companies and financial institutions, I suggest he look no further than 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. MrArchieBunker’s comments are incredulously shallow, and simply do not make the grade.

DID YOU KNOW?

While the Duck was surfing the web he came across this picture of conservatives talking about how liberals destory everything including, Christmas.

This reminded the DUCK of pal talk were, 5 conservatives numb nuts sit around the table and talk about how messed up the liberals are!?

This to the duck is something to investigate!

(heading) Economic Disaster if liberals win the "War on Christimas"

RAISING THE CANE

Last night Mainstream was visted by none other than a drunk self-absorbed bitch by the name of Raisin Cane. The last time any of us saw her was when she was banned off paltalk for 1 year a year ago. Let me give you a little lesson on why she is the most hated person on paltalk in ANY room she goes into. She doesn't add anything to the discussion and she just talks about white people. When comparing her to the other braindead in Mainstream, they come out to be more intelligent than her. Please, for the love that is all holy PLEASE KEEP HER OUT!

MORE HAPPY TALK

Clap louder!

Sometimes the cut-and-paste nonsense from wingnuts is too much. Case in point:

drclean: The bottom line, then, is that we have only two choices in our war with Jihadistan: The Long War or the Short Surrender. Either we continually and vigorously engage terrorists and their state sponsors, and undermine their support by establishing a democratic government in the heart of the Arab world, or we surrender and suffer the consequences, at a cost far greater than 9/11.

Can you believe this tripe? When did such content-free blather become an opinion on national security? Oh, yeah, I forgot. This is all that Dubya has to say also. Happy talk and bravado. Empty platitudes and jingoistic claptrap. And the wingnuts on PT have been infected with it.

I wonder if any of these fools are willing to read the words of George Bush Sr. and Brent Scowcroft? Or how about General William Odom, former head of the NSA under Reagan? They are saying (or did say) what we now know all too well: The invasion of Iraq was an unmitigated disaster, and leaving now is a better option than staying. By leaving, we will infact do more to alleviate a source of terrorism than if we stay and coninue a fruitless fight. Martin Van Creveld, a prominent Israeli military historian, says that invading Iraq is the most egregious blunder by a nation in over 2000 years. And I'm supposed to get advice on war from drclean and MrArchieBunker? No thanks.

JC

CITIZEN SACRIFICE

Australian Nguyen Tuong Van. The convicted drug courier early yesterday lost his fight for survival, dying on the gallows at the new Changi Prison almost three years to the day after he was arrested with 396g of heroin in transit at Singapore's international airport. Under Singaporean law, anyone convicted of possessing more than 15g of heroin or 500g of marijuana is presumed to be trafficking and faces the death penalty. There is no discretion for the presiding judge to lessen the penalty even if, as in Van's case, the convicted criminal shows remorse, provides information to police and appears to be a first offender.

HOMECOMING

OMG TEH ZOMBIE!!11!

I just got finished watching Homecoming, from Showtime's Masters of Horror series. If you watched it, read on, and let us know in comments what you think. If you are planning on watching later on, read no further, there will be some spoilers.













Ok, still here? How great was that? Cindy Sheehan was there, and her son fucking murderized Karl Rove. And how long have you waited to see Ann Coulter get shot in the back of the head? Admittedly, it was a tad heavyhanded, and it's tough to tell a well paced story in only an hour, but this horror show hit all the right notes. And why is it that only in a zombie movie can people say the truth that everyone knows? That our leaders lied us into war, and don't care about either the deaths they cause or the will of the people. It's high freaking time someone had the guts to say it out in the open. I cannot wait to hear the wingnuts whining about this one. They're only mad that someone finally said it: The Chimperor is naked!

JC

GET YOUR PARTY SUPPLIES HERE

http://www.bushslastday.com/

Finally, a website we can all use. Get your gear while they still last.

BAAL IS A HUNGRY GOD

The gentle waves pictured here belie the cruel nature of the malevolent Aquos

Sorry about the light posting recently. It's not that there haven't been any wingnuts to mock, because there definitely have been, but I've been feeling a little under the weather lately.

On a lighter note, the household just got a new member, in the form of a gigantic television. The Aquos 45" LCD TV is a mighty, impassive giant. Now, I'm not a religious man, but the imposing girth of the TV has got me feeling a little unsettled. I daily bring the Aquos burnt offerings, the steaming entrails of the largest animals from the hunt, and the freshest fruits picked from the fields, so I hope that the wrathful vengeance of the Aquos will not fall upon my head. Better safe than sorry, people.

JC

MINISTRY OF TRUTH

Washington, 30 Nov. (AKI) - The US defence secretary Donald Rumsfeld has banned the use of the word 'insurgents' when referring to the militants operating in Iraq. "Over the weekend I thought to myself. 'You know, that gives them a greater legitimacy than they seem to merit," he told journalists during a Pentagon briefing on Tuesday. "It was an epiphany," he said, throwing his hands in the air. http://http://www.adnki.com/index_2Level.php?cat=Security&loid=8.0.234884296&par==

FIST FULL OF DOLLARS

We really need to question what our military/economic might (which we assume is our RIGHT!) is doing to humanity. For a dollar, we can excuse anything? I hope not, I hope people will stand up and say NO! NO! NO! You will NOT do these crimes in MY NAME!

FURBALLS AND ASSOCIATED TROUBLES.

I have a mouse problem. My mouse is full of cat hair, and my cat is full of mouse hair!

KLB!