SORRY, VIC, WRONG AGAIN

"Just nine more payments, and that baby's all mine!"

Vic Ferrari (nee Forever) is trying to sell more of his nonsense. This time, the vaunted Mr. Fucktardi gives us the Generosity Index, an informal survey purporting to show that the poorer southern states are more giving than the skinflints in New England:

New Hampshire was the most miserly state for the fourth year running and the seventh year in the past nine, according to the Catalogue of Philanthropy. Massachusetts was runner-up in parsimony and Rhode Island and Connecticut also were among the half-dozen stingiest.

Mississippi retained its title as most generous state, one of several in the Bible Belt that ranked high in the latest Generosity Index, whose methodology has come under criticism and helped give rise to new studies of charitable giving.

The index, which takes into account both "having" and "giving," is based on average adjusted gross incomes and the value of itemized charitable donations reported to the Internal Revenue Service on 2003 tax returns, the latest available.

But wait, researchers say that the GI is an improper way to assess generosity:

The Boston Foundation study concluded that the index presents an undeserved image of New England as a region comprised of Yankee skinflints whose charitable instincts are out of sync with the rest of the nation.

"If everyone in Massachusetts gave 100 times as much to charity as we do today and everything else remains the same, we wouldn't get above the bottom half of the chart," said David Trueblood, a spokesman for the foundation. "And no matter what Mississippi did, it couldn't fall below 22nd or 23rd."

The Boston Foundation proposed an alternate measure of generosity based on each state's share of overall charitable contributions and income, adjusted for differences in taxes and living costs. Using that methodology, Massachusetts' generosity ranking last year would be eleventh, instead of 49th.

So, that index is actually far from accurate. And check out how the spokesman for the GI defends himself:

Cohn said he was disappointed that the Boston Foundation chose to attack the index without understanding that its purpose is to promote discussion about philanthropy and that it never sought to hang a label on any state.

"Our numbers were never purported to be scientific," Cohn said. "Our goal is not to make anybody feel good or feel bad."

Never meant to be scientific, huh? Well, there you have it. Now, I guess we'd expect Vic to fall for a nonscientific survey without exploring the story any deeper. After all, science standards in middle school must be fairly deplorable in Alabama. Maybe if Vic had made it to high school, this could all have been averted. Dammit, why did his stupid sister, Charlene, have to go and get pregnant? Vic told her to hang upside down from the rafters after they wuz done snugglin', but the bitch never listens. Oh well, maybe if he goes to night school at the junior college after finishing his shift at the junkyard, he can get his GED and get some real work at the factory. At least make enough money to get his El Camino off the cinder blocks...

JC