WINGNUT IGNORANCE AS RENEWABLE ENERGY SOURCE

Supernova, Champagne or otherwise...

Today I would like to present a business proposal regarding an exciting new source of energy. This amazing breakthrough has the potential to provide a nearly limitless supply of kilowatt hours for a variety of needs while reducing the waste products inherent in petroleum, nuclear, and even hydroelectric power plants.

How many times have you heard the phrase, "What you don't know could fill the Grand Canyon?" Indeed, I imagine we have all had occasion to meet someone whose breathtaking ignorance has inspired such a query. But the question now is this: what if it were possible to harness the voluminous expanse of such ignorance, and turn it into usable electrical energy? Our team of highly-trained scientists, including 3 Nobel Laureates in Quantum Physics, have constructed a device that they call a Q-Tronic Igno-Paradox Transducer. With this device, it is possible to seize the ignorance of a subject, (at a submolecular level) and transform it into millions if not billions of kilowatts in throughput.

Now, I expect that many of you have questions, and the one foremost in your mind must be this: where can we find subjects who contain such tremendous ugnorance? Surely, no one could survive with such energy pressing constantly at the insides of their skull? Or indeed, cross the street in traffic by themselves. But, I assure you, we have found the ideal subjects. Take a look at this transcript of a chat room conversation:

Jesus Claus: WHY CAN'T BUSH USE FISA?
Jesus Claus: tell us, jay
Jay_LOL: why would he use FISA?
Jesus Claus: because, you numbskull, it gives him instant wiretaps
Jesus Claus: you really don't know anything, do you jay?
Jesus Claus: you don't even understand the issue
Jesus Claus: WHY CAN'T BUSH USE FISA?
Jesus Claus: answer, jay
Jesus Claus: tel us why?
Jesus Claus: explain it to us
Jay_LOL: so he should wait 72 hours Claus
Jay_LOL: hopefully, they are still talking
Jay_LOL: because 72 hours to wait for a court is the difference between gathering info and having a plane hijacked Claus
Jesus Claus: JAY!!!!
Jesus Claus: YOU IDIOT!!!!
Jay_LOL: this is war, not a third grade soccer game
Jesus Claus: you don't have to wait 72 hours, you numbskull!
Jay_LOL: yes, lib logic is that if you are wrong once, then you are always wrong
Jay_LOL: unless of course you are lib, then you are entitled to be wrong all the time
iJesus Claus: jay, you're a moron!
Jesus Claus: FISA doesn't make you wait 72 hours, you idiot!
Jesus Claus: FISA gives a warrant within minutes or hours!
Jay_LOL: Claus, look...if you want me to feel for the "rights" of people linked to Al Queda then your pissing up the wrong tree
Jesus Claus: jay, you don't know what you're talking about!
Jay_LOL: in certain situations it absolutely does Claus
Jesus Claus: with FISA, you can negin taps IMMEDIATELY!
GilBatesJr: FISA warrents can be done after the fact too
Jesus Claus: begin
Jay_LOL: Claus, unfortunately, Im one of the few who seem to know what they are talking about
Jesus Claus: EXACTLY, GIL!
Jesus Claus: JAY, you just said that you have to wait 72 hours for a FISA warrant
Jesus Claus: which is EXACTLY backwards!!!
Jesus Claus: you know NOTHING!!!
Jesus Claus: you speak without facts
Jay_LOL: Im one of the few that actually dont give a damn about the "rights" of treasonous people
Jesus Claus: you are completely wrong
Jesus Claus: begone, fool
GilBatesJr: Immediate spying and then do the paperwork the next day or 2
Jay_LOL: yes of course I did
Jesus Claus: you sully us with your presence
Jay_LOL: eat my ass Claus, your a fucking biased asswipe
Jesus Claus: leave us, jay, and return when you know something
Jesus Claus: you have made a critical error in fact
Jesus Claus: you are dismissed

Notice in particular how the Wingnut reacts angrily when his error is pointed out. Yes, my friends, the Wingnut is indeed the ideal source for this type of energy extraction. Once quarantined, the Wingnuts are fed a steady diet of AM Radio and Fox News, which constantly renews the ignorance energy. In addition, it ensures that the only harm a Wingnut can inflict is against his own kind. Now, if you'll follow me, we can enter the Quarantine Zone and observe the "energy coils" in real time. Please be sure to wear your hazmat suits and protective gear correctly. The specimens have been a bit nippy lately, and Jay_LOL in particular has been known to fling his poo at visitors on numerous occasions...

JC