BUNKER MENTALITY

Paltalk's own resident ignoramus, mrarchiebunker, apparently has me mixed up with someone who actually has some power or authority. His most recent "diatribe" aims specifically at me, and yet somehow completely misses the mark. Somehow "Banned from 2Way" has become my room and "my gang" according to Archie, and I am somehow the leader of some seditiously reprehensible (read progressive) bloc of terrorists bent on the destruction of all the good things (read fascism and dictatorship) in this world. Aside to Archie here.. Umm Archie? I'm not even the owner of the room, and honest little guy, I'm not going to jump out of the bushes and beat the hell out of you so there's no reason to be so frightened. I read through Archie's blurb, noting as usual his lackluster ignorance, liberally sprinkled with two dollar words he stole from the intelligentia (read liberals) he has seen in his chat room, including some he stole from me, and it made me think about the genesis of his selected PalTalk nickname. To Wit:

The quintessential, all-American bigot, Archie Bunker was part of the "old guard" who failed to recognize the "melting pot" mentality of the modern world. Archie is befuddled and annoyed by anyone and everything that doesn't share his narrow and often vicious view of the world. He is a brash, uneducated, blue-collar worker, and his small thinking doesn't win him a lot of friends. Archie's problems mostly stem from the evolution around him, and he consequently spends as much time with his foot in his mouth as one of his beloved cigars.

Norman Lear, the creator of "All in the Family" originally tried to sell the sitcom to the networks in 1968, but while the network brass laughed at the baffoon (they were obvioustly literate and liberal), they were concerned Americans would not accept such a hateful, racist, bigoted and ill-informed major character in prime time. After all, until the show finally aired in the early 70's, the father figure had always been a "Father Knows Best" sort of character who was kind and sensitive to others, and whose advice was always right. Archie was such a huge departure from this image of strength of character and ethics the networks execs were afraid for their jobs should they allow Lear to air his comedy.

Interestly when the show finally aired, America was truly ready for Archie. The show allowed even the most ignorant and bigoted of Americans to laugh at someone even dumber and more bigoted than them. Ultimately the show was a hit, and history was made. I believe I've seen every episode of the original show, although I took the death of Edith (Jean Stapleton) so hard, I watched very little of later episodes, including "Archie's Place". I felt sorry for Archie, and the loss of Edith and his family, and it was never the same for me. Many Americans must have mirrored my feelings as the show didn't last a whole lot longer. During its run, there were rumors a small and anonymous sect of Americans actually believed Archie's character was supposed to be an example of what America should be, but most believe that's an urban legend. After all, how could anyone be that stupid?

In any case, that character, Archie Bunker, is the hero of our own mrarchiebunker. In order to provide a community service, I provide herein, a language more suitable to him than the purloined words of Fox News and the occasional liberal who crosses his path. Perhaps future blog entries by Archie will be more amusing if he employs this language. Archie, please feel free to use any and all of these in your dialog, both spoken and written. America misses that old rascally idiot, and because of what you fascists are doing to our country and the world, we could all use a good laugh. Gosh, this has been difficult to write; I keep getting mixed up about which Archie is which!

ARCHIE BUNKER QUOTES / ARCHIE-ISMs.........
A adult-er-ess (adult female), air-a-plane (airplane), alexander graham booth (john wilks booth), a-rhab (arab), a-ri-ba-du-che (arrivederci), arterial influction (arterial Infarction), assiatic nerve (ciatic nerve)
B beaurocraps (beaurocrats), bequerred (to give to), berieve (grieve), buttinsky (a person who is nosy), birth patrol (birth control), bisontonical woman (bionic woman),
C chinooka (hanukah), chinkiepuncture (acupuncture), constitionalists (constituents), consecration (concentration), corpsuckels (corpuscles), cuisini (zuchini),
D detergent (deterrent), detergerate (regurgitate),

E entramanore (entrepreneur), ecrology (ecology)
F female intermission (female intuition), finixiate (asphixiate), floorplay (foreplay)
G garlic stones (gall stones), groinocologist (gynecologist), geronimous zones (erogenous zones), groan (groin), Guatemoola (Guatemala)

H homosapien (killer fag), house of ill refute (house of ill repute), his-mones & her-mones (hormones),
I Iiminent (intimate), incremented (cremated), ipso fatso (vice versa), ivory shower (ivory tower), incest (incense)
J jetlock (jet lag)
K kromo-stones (chromosomes)
L lufrans (lutherans), last will & tenticle (last will & testament)
M menstrual show (minstrel show), mental pause (menopause), minororities (minorities)
N nave (naive)
O
P pillow of salt (pillar Of salt), poke-ya-nose mts. (poconos mts), poisbyterians (presbytarians), premartial sex (pre-marital sex), prederranged (prearranged), prevert (pervert), prostate server (process server), pernt (point)
Q qualifidations (qualifications)
R rectal nerve (retnal nerve), rosemarie (for stephanie on ABP)
S shemoglobins (hemoglobins), sympathize (synchronize), strategies of war (tragedies of war), santy’s ga’nomes (santa’s gnomes), six thousand dollar man (six million dollar man), suppository remarks (derogatory remarks), saniquarium (sanitarium)
T trampaloon (trampoline), transversive (transvestite), terlit (toilet)
U urology (eulogy)
V veal scallepeepee (scallipini), venereal (funeral), Vertizontal (horizontal)
W wild hornets (wild horses), weirdwolf (werewolf), woman's lubrication (woman's liberation)
X
Y
Z zeberellas (female Zebra's)