THE CONTINUING ADVENTURES OF JAY THE UNCLEAN

Thought you'd like some more of the slime from jay_156. I've never met such a simpleton. This idiot spends most of his time apparently fantasizing about my life. I can't get this little puppy to stop grinding on my leg, and the more I shake, the happier he gets. What really surprises me is that, whenever jay gets pressed for a concrete argument or a reasoned answer, he immediately falls into a reverie about how I must have become a liberal. I think I might start calling him Ad Hominem Jay. No matter what the debate, jay can't help but jump "to the man" and furiously hump away.

jay_156: that was weak dude
jay_156: come on man....fucking bring it
jay_156: that sucked
Jesus Claus: you're a punk
Jesus Claus: and you just got schooled
jay_156: you must have spent the weekend drinking and smoking man
Jesus Claus: i know it hurts
jay_156: cuz that sucked
Jesus Claus: but take it like a man
Jesus Claus: you should at least try to use facts and arguments
jay_156: you still didnt tell me who dubbed yada yada the leading Iraqi woman blogger
Jesus Claus: peple can see that you have nothing
jay_156: you didnt cite one source man
Jesus Claus: uh...right
jay_156: you didnt
Jesus Claus: that's because literally the first page when you google "women and iraq" is brimming with sources
jay_156: so who dubbed yada yada the leading Iraqi woman blogger?
Jesus Claus: haven't you seen the current human rights reports on iraq?
jay_156: at least tell me that
Jesus Claus: i think this might be a bit beyond your ability to comprehend
jay_156: let me tell you why you lost kid....you got loud and you lost it on mic
Jesus Claus: Riverbend has credibility because she has demonstrated that she has personal knowledge of the situation in Baghdad
Jesus Claus: look, son, you just can't take the heat on this
Jesus Claus: it was necessary, my boy
jay_156: back up kid...before you get to the facts and figures....let me tell you a little bit about winning a debate or an argument
jay_156: you lose when you get upset lol
Jesus Claus: when someone shows you that they want to clown like a punk, you need to set them straight
jay_156: you lose all credibility when you start puffing out your chest
jay_156: clown like a punk?
jay_156: lol
Jesus Claus: anyone who has seen a loser try to clown his way out of a loss could see it
jay_156: clown like a punk?
jay_156: are you like 15
jay_156: ?
Jesus Claus: when someone is trying to goof because they've got no defense, you need to knock the nonsense down immediately
jay_156: you didnt knock anything down except your credibility
Jesus Claus: jay_156: settle down....little punk bitch
Jesus Claus: that was you, my boy
jay_156: I was using terminology that your eminem listening to ass would understand
Jesus Claus: so bite it off about who's acting like a child
Jesus Claus: you're the one who's losing it
jay_156: now, listen closely...you're about to hear how an adult responds to paltalk bullshit
Jesus Claus: you really think the room has respect for a clown like you?
Jesus Claus: what a joke
Jesus Claus: you're a waste of time
Jesus Claus: clowning when you should be thinking
jay_156: see again...thats where you prove your limited experience
Jesus Claus: and punking out with insults, so tired
Jesus Claus: don't you get it?
jay_156: you care what these assholes think of you
Jesus Claus: you have to win on the merits before you flake out
jay_156: look, I understand that liberalism is cool when your 15....its idealistic....all the cool movie stars are liberal...I get it
Jesus Claus: care? I care that i don't embarrass myself by jerking off in front of people
Jesus Claus: another punk argument
Jesus Claus: try winning on the MERITS of your case
jay_156: but man, when you grow up...when you move out of the house, get a job, take the pokemon posters off your wall you are gonna see that blind idealism isnt valuable in life
Jesus Claus: before you appeal to ageism
Jesus Claus: dude, i'm as real politik as they come
Jesus Claus: you just don't get it, do you?
jay_156: your 15 dude
Jesus Claus: this isn't about idealism
jay_156: you havent lived enough life to be political yet
jay_156: experience something first
jay_156: then get back to me
jay_156: pay a bill
Jesus Claus: i know when to use "your" and when to use "you're"
Jesus Claus: how old does that make me?
Jesus Claus: loser
Jesus Claus: you know shit about shit, and less about me or my life
jay_156: yep...when I type fast I get the your and you're stuff mixed up
jay_156: you're right...got me
Jesus Claus: so make a real argument or hit the pavement
jay_156: so back to my very valid point
Jesus Claus: which is?
jay_156: you're too young to know what you think politically
Jesus Claus: I haven't heard one yet
jay_156: you think everything you hear is truth
Jesus Claus: except you don't know how old i am
Jesus Claus: or what i've done or who i am or shit
Jesus Claus: so what the fuck re you arguing?
Jesus Claus: i don't get it
jay_156: based on your reactions to the world you cant be older than 25
Jesus Claus: where do you see idealism in anything i've argued?
Jesus Claus: i don't get it at all
jay_156: and if you are....then you still live with mom and dad and you havent lived a day on your own yet
Jesus Claus: what the fuck are you even saying?
Jesus Claus: wrong on both counts
Jesus Claus: next?
jay_156: liberalism....its all about the rich old guys out to get ya
Jesus Claus: did you have a real rejoinder to make?
Jesus Claus: did i mention rich old guys?
Jesus Claus: what if i'm a rich young guy?
Jesus Claus: what the fuck are you even saying?
Jesus Claus: where is the argument here?
Jesus Claus: are you saying i have points about iraqi women because I hate rich old guys?
Jesus Claus: you have lost the script, my son
jay_156: you're the typical white young kid....you wish like hell you had some angst to live through so someone would take you seriously
Jesus Claus: nothing you say is relevant
Jesus Claus: there's no substance here
Jesus Claus: pretend i'm a 78 year old black woman
Jesus Claus: now MAKE AN ARGUMENT!
Jesus Claus: or stop wasting my time
Jesus Claus: stop making ad hominem arguments
Jesus Claus: that's all this is, don't you know that?
Jesus Claus: "to the man"
jay_156: look boy, Ill say what I want about you
Jesus Claus: ok, then I'll say what I want about you
Jesus Claus: you
jay_156: lol, and you will listen because you aren't man enough to ignore it
jay_156: lol
jay_156: you have to know what Im saying about you
Jesus Claus: you're an unhappily married 35 year old man
jay_156: because you're 14
jay_156: good one
Jesus Claus: you are terribly afraid that your wife will discover that you're a transvestite prostitute who likes autoerotic asphyxiation
jay_156: wow...good one
jay_156: another good one
jay_156: how very conan obrien of you
Jesus Claus: you hate yourself because you only truly love one of your kids, but think that your son is a stupid kid who embarrasses you
jay_156: you know, the bad thing about your generation is that you think Jon Stewart is funny
Jesus Claus: he's fucking brilliant
jay_156: lol, shocking
Jesus Claus: and his viewers are better informed than Bil O'Reilly's
jay_156: lol, he takes your money by saying such brilliant things as "Bush looks dumb doesnt he?"
Jesus Claus: takes my money?
jay_156: "wow, Bush sounds like elmer fudd"
jay_156: brilliant
Jesus Claus: and?
jay_156: lol claus....the youth of the 60's needed Nixon to blame....this generation needs Bush....it gives your pathetic little lives meaning
Jesus Claus: look, you're kind of pathetic, ok?
jay_156: the angst ridden youth
Jesus Claus: every argument you make returns sadly to some broad generalization about how "people like me" are always wrong
jay_156: so pathetic....rich white kids sitting around bitching about how their parents make them cut the lawn lol
Jesus Claus: or filled with angst
Jesus Claus: or angry
Jesus Claus: don't you see how dumb that is?
Jesus Claus: condos don't have lawns
Jesus Claus:
jay_156: that my boy, is a verbal ass beating
jay_156: that is how you rip an ass on mic
Jesus Claus: are you kidding me?
Jesus Claus: hahahahahahahahahaahhahah
Jesus Claus: you're joking, right?
jay_156: lol...are you sucking mcgoo's dick or something?
jay_156: he is defending you like you dropped seed in it
Jesus Claus: hahahahahaha
Jesus Claus: what a child you are

Now, jay is usually far too busy piddling on my shoes to bring a reasoned argument, but he did make a flailing attempt on the mic. But this is the first real factoid he inserted:

"...you know, when Clinton bombed that aspirin factory in Iraq, liberals thought all the WMD got destroyed..."

Um...jay? That factory was in the Sudan. But nice try. Stick to immature ad homs, they're more your speed.

jay_156: look little kid....Sudan or Iraq....really doesnt matter.....the point is you bullshitting libs have done nothing to protect this nation and you take credit for it
Jesus Claus: did you even look at Richard Clarke's testimony?
jay_156: can you tell me who the leading Nigerian transvestite midget blogger is?
Jesus Claus: Bush is a failure at CT, point blank, told by the very people who were right there to see it
jay_156: Im interested in that
Jesus Claus: can you tell me what bush has done to protect us?
Jesus Claus: where is osama?
Jesus Claus: i'd love to see him go down
jay_156: lol
jay_156: no you wouldnt
Jesus Claus: exactly
jay_156: you back him too
Jesus Claus: you really believe the caricature you've been fed of liberals
Jesus Claus: it's sad
Jesus Claus: and pathetic
jay_156: he is misunderstood like Saddam
jay_156: you fucking live it
jay_156: you're a punk kid
Jesus Claus: you're just a useless little puppy
jay_156: you're the stereotypical lib
Jesus Claus: you know nothing about progressive politics
jay_156: a swarthy little loud mouthed kid
jay_156: a fucking know it all
Jesus Claus: and your party has sold you a fantasy while making you less safe and less well off
Jesus Claus: but you don't see it
jay_156: you are the fucking poster boy for the libs
Jesus Claus: swarthy?
jay_156: not familiar with the word?
Jesus Claus: are you making racist comments now?
Jesus Claus: you think i'm black?
jay_156: wanna be
Jesus Claus: i thought i was a rich white kid
jay_156: you are
Jesus Claus: and?
jay_156: I also said you wish you had some pain
Jesus Claus: so?
jay_156: swarthy is more PC than wigger
jay_156: which describes you perfectly
Jesus Claus: swarthy actually means that i am in fact dark skinned
jay_156: but I knew you'd flip out and pull out the race card when you saw wigger
Jesus Claus: i didn't pull it out when i saw wigger
Jesus Claus: i pulled it out when i saw swarthy
Jesus Claus: because saying i'm swarthy means that i'm actually dark
jay_156: anyway dumbass.....you make me want to vomit
Jesus Claus: wigger means that i'm just trying to seem black
jay_156: way too much time on your hands
Jesus Claus: btw, in what way did i give you the impression that i'm a wigger
Jesus Claus: ?
Jesus Claus: i'm genuinely curious
Jesus Claus: or are you just applying all of your prejudices to me for convenience?
jay_156: well, I dont think you wear FUBU...but I do think you wish you had a little hardship to make you legitimate
Jesus Claus: except that you have literally zero knowledge of my actual life
jay_156: it would at least give you a reason to believe the lib bullshit
Jesus Claus: so why the racism?
Jesus Claus: jay, we are half the country
jay_156: who is we?
Jesus Claus: you can choose to beleive in the stereotypes, but they are manifestly untrue
jay_156: you act exactly like the lib stereotype
Jesus Claus: liberals, Democrats, progressives
Jesus Claus: and to you that is acting like a wigger?
Jesus Claus: because I don't get that at all
jay_156: you think you know it all....you think your shit doesnt stink....and you talk as though you have some pain and experience backing your outrage
jay_156: you have none of that
Jesus Claus: and you in reality have no idea what i have experienced, do you?
jay_156: you dont know a fucking thing other than what you read on the net
jay_156: here we go....
Jesus Claus: what, you gonna tell me i'm swarthy again?
jay_156: lol....you long to be
Jesus Claus: i'm not going to tell you what my life is like
Jesus Claus: the point is, you don't know
Jesus Claus: and what you are doing now is classic ad hom
jay_156: and actually swarthy could describe your attitude
jay_156: because your the classic defeatist
Jesus Claus: how is looking at this administration realistically being defeatist?
Jesus Claus: dude, iraq is careening toward civil war
jay_156: but the lib knee jerk mentality caused you to pull the race card
Jesus Claus: don't try to pretend that isn't because of poor planning
Jesus Claus: jay, you called me swarthy
Jesus Claus: you've got to be kidding me
jay_156: yep I did
jay_156: swarthy means dark
Jesus Claus: you made a racist comment
jay_156: I know your a white boy
Jesus Claus: notcing racism isn't an issue
Jesus Claus: i know, you would have preferred to say wigger
Jesus Claus: but you didn't
jay_156: I was referring to defeatist attitude and the wanna be hardships that you havent faced
Jesus Claus: because you knew it was racist
Jesus Claus: dude, what the fuck do you think you know about me?
jay_156: look fuck...play that shit with someone that is willing to feel sorry about it
jay_156: I really dont care
Jesus Claus: i don't doubt it
jay_156: Iraq could have been a lot different
Jesus Claus: many racists try to be confronational because they don't want to apologize for it
jay_156: oh, now your going to play racist lol
jay_156: typical lib bullshit
jay_156: great
Jesus Claus: no, i think you're playing the racist in this scene
Jesus Claus: i'm the comic sidekick
jay_156: look man, you're a waste of time tonight
Jesus Claus: you are a waste of time every night
jay_156: you lost all crediblilty when you pulled yoru tough guy yelling on the mic shit
Jesus Claus: sounds like it made you wet your pants
jay_156: how long have you been in college on mom and dad's dime son?
jay_156: lol...yes every 115 lb lib makes me shudder
jay_156: you guys can kick some ass lol
Jesus Claus: again, you pretend to know something about me
jay_156: stop with the bullshit
jay_156: admit it
Jesus Claus: are you hitting on me?
jay_156: you're a young guy, still struggling,
jay_156: now you're getting ridiculous
Jesus Claus: wait, am i struggling, or living on my parent's dime?
jay_156: that second zima of the night has really made you funny
jay_156: living on your parents dime is struggling stupid shit
Jesus Claus: how so?
jay_156: you better stop at 3 zimas though.....I dont want you to puke
Jesus Claus: you really seem to think a lot about me
Jesus Claus: are you thinking of writing a book?
jay_156: look, you're loud mouthed, you blame bush for everything wrong in the world, you think voting democrat will fix everything, and you called Jon Steward a genius lol
jay_156: I know a lot about you lol
jay_156: you have probably marched in at least one protest in the past 3 months
Jesus Claus: you can call it: Jesus Claus, An Odyssey in Swarthiness

Hmm, I can't believe I didn't see the racism coming. I mean, if you wanted to make a guess as to whether a given conservative is a closet racist, you'd be safe betting on "Yes" virtually 100 percent of the time. Oh, poor, poor jay, led into a life of unrepentant conservaism by his obsessive fear of brown people. It's sad really. I think some quality cuddle time with LordMercifulVoo would fix that boy right up, don't you?

JC