THE CREEPING MENACE

Some of you may have noticed that The Rattler has added a few names to our masthead. We are, of course, proud and honored to have peppi and Nephilim join us. Two finer minds could hardly be found in all of PalTalk (and even considering the general lack of wit and learning in PT, our new writers would shine brightly even if they were not being compared to as addlebrained a population as exists in Social Issues).

There is, however, a sinister new development that must be addressed to ensure the security of this fine institution. It has not gone unnoticed that several of our writers share something of a common bond, a membership in a mysterious and possibly malevolent faction. Rumors have run rampant, and the growing danger is now too prevalent and intrusive to ignore.

Yes, my friends, several of the writers at The Rattler have now been revealed to be...Australians. I know, I know, I can tell by your slightly audible gasps that this dark secret is as shocking and scandalous to you as it was on that damnable day when the truth was finally revealed to me. I'm sure that now you are filled with questions. Who are these people we call Australians? What is it they want from us? What occult and cryptic master do they ultimately serve?

Unfortunately, it is not yet known how many implanted sentinels of this hidden force walk among us. Several of the writers already on staff may well be themselves Australian sympathizers. If our two new writers turn out to have some connection to this shadowy organization, who knows what fate is in store for us all? All that we can do, all that any of us can ever do, is remain vigilant. I will await further developments. Be safe, everyone, and be ever watchful. You can never be sure who is indeed the enemy within...

JC