LUCIA DI LAMMERMOOR

Well, my goodness, I thought I had stumbled into the dress rehearsals for Lucia in 2/way....... entering stage left was Lucia, ( Magnumpotent , and isnt that a freudian slip in spades) stark raving mad, dressed in white satin. Maggs is another sufferer of the delusional military fetish syndrome, YET another, and proceeded in the usual way of all fetishist to give his background.. 21 years in the military.. sure...and officer sons in both the army and the navy. Folks.. what is wrong with this picture? Apart from Maggs incurable psychosis, a hell of a lot..

Maggs continued his aria, in the refreshing style of Milton Berle playing Lucia di Lammermoor, the poor woman driven mad by Scottish weather, along with a surfeit of blood and guts and even displayed a propensity for making the SOUNDS of weaponry.. yes.. his cruise missile impersonation ( a low moaning blowing sound) was followed rapidly by an attempt to convey himself as a Blackhawk Helicopter, complete with engine failings and crew mutterings ( a sort of chopping clicking of the dentures) ...This guy has been shooting blanks for too long.

His finale , sung somewhat soprano ,was a long peroration on the merits of napalm, at which point he was well and truly dotted, much to the regret of opera critics, as it was felt among us that he may very well have been going in so many circles that he would have dissappeared up his own arse at any moment. Complete with sound effects. Vale, magnumpremature.