WATCH OUT FOR FLYING WINGNUTS

We had quite an eventful evening in 2 Way tonight. Me, I was spending most of my time playing play money Texas Holdem Tournaments on Party Poker, but I took a break for a few hands to explain the tragic state of the Iraq war for some of the ignorant righties in the room.

True to form, my stalker saltspring seemed to want to grab me with his sweaty palm, his hand went up so quickly after mine. I swear, the guy has his lips suckered to my flank like a lamprey. Look, I can understand if he's angry when people smash his face into the massive documentary evidence of Republican support of Saddam when he was at his chem-tossing craziest, but you don't need to take your inadequacies out on me, shitstain.

No sooner had salty started in with his insipid comments than abby_1312 downed him with a monstrous hip-check. Apparently, salt was spreading around a fake quote from abby, and persisted after numerous warnings. abby takes no shit, (trust me) so she slapped a ball gag on ol' shit-for-springs and dropkicked him into the Pacific Ocean.

As salty disappeared over the horizon, Paltalk's Queen Lunatic Jesseado galloped to his rescue. I know, I know, RaisinCane is nuts, but she is actually Queen Maniac. The distinction is that Raisin prefers spittle-flecked ranting, while Jes likes low-tone wavering psychosis. Honestly, I get a kick out of listening to Raisin teeter on the brink, but Jes's yammering is like a radioactive death beam boring through a lead wall. My skull can't take the vibratory inanity.

I can only report what others saw and heard, because I can't stand to listen to Jes, but she must have whined and whined about shitstains' ignominious removal so much that abby finally snatched her speaking privileges. At least now I won't have the 4 minute gaps in audio.

JC