FINALLY, A SERIOUS ISSUE

The hidden menace...

So, I'm reading a parenting magazine, and they have letters from parents talking about things their toddlers do that annoy them. And one parent writes that her daughter is obsessed with toe-boogies. When you wear socks, little balls of cottom fluff get stuck to your feet and between your toes. I take my socks off, and there they are. Toe-boogies.

For crimeny's sake, we can put a man on the moon. We have devices that let us clamp bread and cheese together and cook a grilled cheese sandwich over the stove. I've got porn on demand on my computer within minutes. And you're telling me we can't do anything about toe-boogies? When will some enterprising person invent the boogie-less sock? What are we paying those eggheads over at the National Institute of Health for? Cure cancer? Dammit, man, get these boogies out of my toes!

JC