BUSH SQUAWKS

In a rare Rose Garden press conference, pResident George W. (Chimpy McFlightsuit) Bush addrssed the growing threat of an avian flu pandemic. Standing together with the president of Lichtenstain, Bush laid out his administration case for the War on Sneezing. "We have learned from British intelligence that the H5N1 virus has attempted to purchase sugnificant quantities of musus from Africa," the pResident said, wiping his nose several times on his sleeve. The president of Lichtenstein looked on wordlessly with an expression on his face that can only be described as vague nausea. "Although we have no evidence that the H5N1 virus was involved in September the 11th, we cannot wait until the smoking gun...the pandemic that could come in the form of a mushroom cloud." Reporters waved their hands furiously and shouted questions, but the pResident shuffled back into the White House without answering any questions. Shortly thereafter, Scott McClellan, dressed as a clown and riding a unicycle while juggling bowling pins, emerged to entertain the White House press corpse.

JC