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Friday, January 26, 2007

THINGS YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE TO BE A REPUBLICAN TODAY

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary.

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's Daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Dubya needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

Keep condoms out of every drug store within walking distance of a schools. Then adolescents won't have sex.

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing Health care to all Americans is socialism. (HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.)

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

A president lying about an extra-marital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, But what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.


I can't wait to see everyone's addition(s) to this list :o)

35 comments:

Anonymous said...

Finally.....THAT is truly facetious!!! lol

Facetious Muse said...

;o)

FRisson1 said...

BIG WOW...... GREAT LIST MUSE.....I will be watching for it to grow!!!

Jay156 said...

let's piss all over this flaming pile of bullshit shall we?

Hmmm, seems like many Christian sects are welcoming homosexuals, many have homosexual leadership...I guess maybe you think Catholics speak for all Christians?

Saddam was a bad guy when he slaughtered thousands of innocent people...also bad when he imprisoned civillians for such things as getting pissed when their daughters got raped by his boys....try keeping your eye on the ball huh?

Trade with Cuba has been thwarted by poor policy from Fidel Castro...again lets no let honesty cloud your judgement

We all know YOUR in favor of the UN as long as they take a position against American presidents...as long as those presidents happen to be Republicans...you libs are true patriots

Women make decisions about their body freely in this country...oh, you are referring to the killing of someone elses body here though right? Explain to me please how the party for the children sleeps at night when they fight to defend viable babies being removed up to their heads and then having their brains removed? Please tell me, life-loving libs, how this meshes with your humanitarian policies

I suppose the better way to show your support is to clap at State of the Union addresses at the mere mention of our troops then fighting like hell the next day to try and make sure they dont get the reinforcements they need

Hand condoms to elementary school kids...I'm glad you aren't for gun owners rights actually with this logic

Seems our "belittled" friends are right there with us when it comes to Iran, Syria, and N. Korea though...hmmm I guess we have killed diplomacy for all time

Our schools spend more money on tobacco education than any other on the planet....Global Warming is a debate that goes on in virtually every environmental discussion held in a classroom...I have an education degree...last time you were in a classroom was when? thats what I thought...

Unlike Clinton's lie which was proven without a shadow of a doubt, the only "proof" you have about Bush's "lies" are on Alex Jone's websites....Why aren't the newly elected libs impeaching Bush? Balls in your court there libs....I guess you'll blame Bush staying on the Republicans too

As far as I know, nominating amendments to the Constitution is still legal and encouraged in this country right? Maybe you can take care of that in the next 100 (1000) hours...

Hmmm, Isn't it you libs that cry foul everytime some one brings up anything from Bill Clinton's or Teddy Kennedy's past? But Republicans are fare game....

Hmmm, dealers on our streets dealing drugs to our kids IS IN FACT on the same level as a person getting hooked on pain medication...You're right, thanks for the clarification

Again, Republicans aren't allowed to mention Clinton...its unfair and dirty pool....

There ya go Muse, get a mop, was a big fire and I'm afraid this piece of garbage smells like piss! (which is much better than what it smelled like when it left your brain)

Anonymous said...

Democrats love blaming Republicans for global warming. Somehow they feel it's all caused by car exhaust, when actually the largest producer is from electrical power plants. The very same electrical power plants that COULD'VE switched to NUCLEAR, if not for ... THE DEMOCRATS

BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Anonymous said...

Muse just wrote that the Republicans are "Censoring the internet"?

That's a new one on me, but if they are I'm against it.
Just like I was against TIPPER GORE and the PMRC censoring free speech in the music industry.
Thank God we got rid of that Nazi bitch and her husband
BWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Anonymous said...

Facetious Muse said...
Oh, the wity remarks whatever will I do? Did I say something too close to home for you anonmouse? I'm sorry I swear I wouldn't have used the term crack ho if I'd known your sister was your local crack ho. But I did hear it is a family trade, you could take pride it that. Well that and the fact that your mother is the busiest ho around (I wonder if that could have anything to do with her price of 50 cents a bang?) Always warming to the heart to see a mother pass down her knowledge.


Anonymous said...
How sad to see Muse HAS dropped as low as Cuntabella? Families now too???

Anonymous said...

muse it seems you need educating on the drug addiction subject.
Heroin, cocaine, marijuana = illegal

oxycontin, oxycodone = legal

Yes opiods like oxycontin (time released form of oxycodone) are addictive, but recent studies have shown they are not as addictive as previously believed in patients with cronic pain.

Anonymous said...

lol @ oxycontin, oxycodone = legal
That fat bastard is still a drug addict. retard!

Anonymous said...

Jay, fuck off (yet another fucktard that was taught to write) Goddamn the education system of the USA for teaching you to write. Evidently your parents failed to give you spine! You nasty cunt! Go suck some neonut dick ya faggot! If everyone just knew how you pm guys and try to get them to talk to you. It is soooooo sickening!!!

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Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
muse it seems you need educating on the drug addiction subject.
Heroin, cocaine, marijuana = illegal

oxycontin, oxycodone = legal

Yes opiods like oxycontin (time released form of oxycodone) are addictive, but recent studies have shown they are not as addictive as previously believed in patients with cronic pain.

1:13 PM


Anonymous said...
lol @ oxycontin, oxycodone = legal
That fat bastard is still a drug addict. retard!

Jay156 said...

I only know one shitstainer that uses the term "fucktard"....Nice to see you Dobbsie/nooogie/cocksucking bucket of retarded monkey jizz!

BTW...I'm now putting you on ignore...CLICK!

Anonymous said...

lmao you shitstain, pmsl. I am not noooogie. Sowwy cry baby.. whahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhwahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhwahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Dobbsie is pickin on me, poor me. It is a known fact you are a fucktard Jay, lmao.

Anonymous said...

wowowow...Is Jay saying he used to pm nooogie and proposition him??? hmmmm. why would he bring up nooogie? pmsl

anonymouseposter said...

Come on over and view the Lab Monkeys. We have quite a collection!!! We are also in need of good writers, since we rip off other writers articles. We need free thinkers who will contribute to the blogisphere. Please do come over and view our lab monkey collection and comment on our stolen articles. The Rattler can't do this, but we sure can!

Muse, I am sorry that we are such a waste of your precious time. We don't mean to stalk you and make inhumane comments about your family. It probably stems from the fact that we had such horrible upbringings. Or perhaps from voting for George Bush twice. It has caused us to act out of sorts and unstable. I wish you the best Muse and hopefully my fellow anonymous posters will be kind and remember their own frailities.

Peace be with you Madam!

Anonymous said...

Frisson sucked isabellah's man cock

Anonymous said...

And....I helped her.

Facetious Muse said...

anonymous said...
I wish you the best Muse and hopefully my fellow anonymous posters will be kind and remember their own frailities.


Thank you

Facetious Muse said...

Hmmm last time I checked one being addited to drugs wasn't limited to just illegal drugs. Also while we are at it marijuana has yet to be proven additive.

And even if drug of choice is legal, going to ten different drs and buying those pills is still against the law.

Will the stupidity ever end, or at least quit growing?

~~~~~~Forever A Facetious Pain~~~~~

Eff25 said...

Most of those appear to be generally accurate. The Clinton issue might be more complicated, but the one I have the most suspicion of, and think might be a misrepresentation, is the second item. My own experience, which is limited, is one of never having heard/seen, or with no recollection, a Republican characterizing Saddam that way. I understand that it's implied by the opposition expressed to today vs. yesterday (which seems to have been muted then), but the argument used in defense of this is a contextual one, which is very common. Certainly, the legitimacy of it is challengeable, at the very least the subject of moral consistency should be brought in, but I'm not sure it's correct to conclude a positive supportive Saddam position over one of convenience.

That aside, I have no major issues with the rest of the list.

Facetious Muse said...

Anonymous said...
"Censoring the internet"?


May I suggest you google 2252B then get back to me?

Eff25 said...

http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/z?c107:H.R.4623:

This is where that section appears to be from, 4 versions.

It's always risky ground to try legislate adult material, noting the classic porn vs. art argument.

In fairness to McCain, who I believe is one of the primary persons being criticized here, I suspect his heart, and others supportive of the idea of the legislation, is in the right place, though I haven't read the legislation in full. I don't want minors seeing the material either, nor distribution of it when featuring minors.

Facetious Muse said...

This bill is not just about “protecting” children (I take offense to the claim that teenagers need to be protected from reality, but that’s beside the point). It outlaws linking to obscenity without explanation, no matter who you’re giving the link to.

It’s not about the children. Not everything is about the children. This is about censoring what people may post.

If you simply link a url without explaining it, someone that clicks on it without understanding the risk could have you sent to jail for 10 years.

I personally don’t want to be protected this way. In protecting people from risk, the government limits what you can do.

What if the only way to enforce such as this were to employee licensed editors? Nothing could be viewed on the net until it was inspected and approved. Changes would have to go through approval again. Allowing something through would get the editor fined or jailed.

That’s where this sort of thing eventually leads.

If parents don’t want to risk their babies seeing bad things on the net, they shouldn’t allow their babies to play on the net unsupervised. The net wasn’t created to entertain 8 year olds. It was created to pass porn around college campuses.

Actually, I was kidding about that last part, but there is a certain amount of truth to it.

~~~~~Forever A Facetious Pain~~~~~

Anonymous said...

Facetious Muse said...
Hmmm last time I checked one being addited to drugs wasn't limited.... Will the stupidity ever end, or at least quit growing?


YOU tell us Mucus-muse....will you EVER learn to type and spell??? "addited" bwahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Anonymous said...

Been hanging with zombiemasterbater to long huh?

Facetious Muse said...

Aww. I feel for the anonyMouses, they can't debate this very Facettious Posting, so they got to revert back to grade-school insults.

I'm really sorry that anonymouses feel so threaten and useless, it isn't true you know ya'll are very good for a laugh.

To all other anonyMouses, y'll could learn something from a couple of anonymous osters, get a sense of humor and try to enjoy life once in a while without harming another while at it.

I know. expecting too much from those taht fear to even use their palnicks

LMAO

Facetious Muse said...

BTW, In left ya'll some typos. We all know how much you enjoy them and we got to keep the lab monkeys happy, now don't we?

ROFLMAO

Anonymous said...

Lab Monkey Happiness

Jay156 said...

Actually, I did more than debate this post...I shot it all to hell.

Facetious Muse said...

Jay, you didn't debate a single issue. You did not disprove one thing I said on this facetious posting. Although you did try very hard to make some points, debating this posting is something you didn't do.

Hre let me help you out, debating is NOT name calling debating is discussing the pros and cons of an issue, where did you do that? Where did you disprove one thing I said? I am not being factious, I would really like to give credit if you did in fact discusss one pro or con of this posting.

Again I say, this was a facetious thread, ya'll do know what that means right?

~~~~Forever A Facetious Pain~~~~

Jay156 said...

Facetious, you go back and read what you wrote side by side with what I wrote...The art of debate is mastered by people who can poke holes in arguments...The truth is, everything you wrote was straight up opinion, most everything I brought up to refute those opinions is based in fact...

Actually, you've become quite silly...let us know when you write something that isn't an "experiment" so that we can go back to grown up debate.

Facetious Muse said...

Jay let's do that.seems like many Christian sects are welcoming homosexuals, many have homosexual leadership...I guess maybe you think Catholics speak for all Christians?
Now where did I say all Christians? I said Republican-Christians (hence the title of post). Are you going to tell me Republicans love Hillary and gays, now?

Saddam was a bad guy when he slaughtered thousands of innocent people...also bad when he imprisoned civillians for such things as getting pissed when their daughters got raped by his boys Now where does this address the issue I was facetiously trying to make, that to the republicans (even some non-republicans) Saddam was a good guy when they needed him and bad guy when they didn't. Also FYI the current PM and President of Iraq, have been acussed of rape and/or on charges. The republicans did a great job with assisting the Iraqis finding a leader that doesn't rape, huh?

Trade with Cuba has been thwarted by poor policy from Fidel Castro and China just has wonderful policies, don't they?

We all know YOUR in favor of the UN as long as they take a position against American presidents...as long as those presidents happen to be Republicans...you libs are true patriots
Seems the republicans love the UN, when it serves their needs wouldn't you say? I mean what did I say taht was untrue here, that republicans in general say we need to get out of the UN or that republicans said our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq?

Ok thats all I'm addressing at this moment, reason being I don't want a reply that takes a day to read (I know already too late) :o)

But, I'm willing to come back and address more of these with you Jay, when you can show how you debated this facetious thread. Good Luck

Jay156 said...

Muse,

lol, trying to have a serious discussion with you is like trying to convince my 4 year old why she can't stay up as late as me...

You can make up anything you want, it's your post...But, for the sake of future argument, if you are going to be posting "facetious" articles, let us know so we can breeze right by it.

As for any of the ridiculous responses to my comments...lol, where do I begin?

I was referring to Cuba's policies concerning the US...China has some pretty favorable policies with us.

I guess you've done a poll on just "republican" Christians...that one was truly genius

You liberals Have been MORE in love than ever before with the U.N. since it has gone against our country concerning Iraq...In fact, you all are willing to sing the praises of anyone that goes against us on this issue...Be it other Republicans, other countries, or even other dictators...(Hugo Chavez is the libs best friend currently)

Muse, face it...you are way too emotional and not at all educated enough to have a political debate or discussion with me. It's ok though, you can claim to just being facetious the whole way.

Facetious Muse said...

jay, face it, you just don't have the intellgence to have any type of debate. If you couldn't tell this was facetious, I fear hope is lacking for you.

Now please continue, here let me help you get started "jay15 said...Muse you are correct..."

~~~~~Forever A Facetious Pain~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ROFLMAO~~~~~~~~~~~~

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