SOME DAYS ARE DIAMONDS..USS CAINE day 2

Such fertile fields tonight that I am compelled to add to the file .... Again, the USS CAINE began again its weary track of minesweeping thru waters not only threatened by natural causes but by the true lunacy of some of the crew....this time the Captains hat was appropriated by Voo, that quintessential Queeg of all ships... Voo was summoned by his Bosun Hi falutin and her assistant Glama (unfortunately, dentureless for the duration) as reserve combatant status.

Upon striding to the bridge, sweeping the OOD aside, kicking the steersman to the deck, Voo took the helm amid much screaming and howling, and proceeded to run the Caine into the dock and immediately back out again, leaving a 20 foot gouge in the dock and a rather large hole in the side of the Caine. This posed no problem to Voo ( Queeg) as he had the steersman to put on a summary charge, and also the crew's shirttails to tuck in, as the Caine slowly proceeded (unsteered )backwards..

Again, a holy screech of terror from Captain Voo ( Queeg) which led him to dance completely round the bridge 3 times once he realised the Caine was turning in a circle and about to cut his own docking lines... folks,., I tell you, it made me want to join the air force.. by this time the entire crew was a babbling blithering band of buggered brothers, all trying to clamber into the lifeboats ,Bosun Hi falutin stuttering some mantra about the 'fukn lebanese' , Boatswain Glama simply droolingly incoherent, some idiot called Student crying 'Captain, Captain , what about my leave papers?? '.... Captain Voo(Queeg) had to be carried to his cabin and fed ice cream by tube, his little stress marbles rattling fiercely as the OOD and CPO hauled the Caine out of the shipping channel and round behind a large rock.