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Sunday, November 12, 2006


From Bob Cesca at The Huffington Post [LINK]:

Last week, I described a nightmare scenario in which the Republicans won the midterm prompting the president, high on mandate juice, to form the Department of Shut The F*** Up, headed by a sock puppet named Secretary Fiddlesticks.

Now that the Democrats have taken back the Congress and 51+ percent of America finally has a voice in government again, I think it's time to seriously let fly. So at the risk of sounding contentious in this all-too-genuine era (several days) of bipartisanship, here now is a roll call of people who must officially shut the f*** up.

1) Republican trolls who wrap up their anonymous and incomprehensible criticisms of progressives with the phrase, "and that's why your party never wins," need to shut the f*** up.

2) The cowards who so easily disregard our liberties by shrugging off the president's illegal wiretapping; the cowards who shrug off the Military Commissions Act and the death of habeas corpus; and the cowards who shrug off torture with the phrases, "I'm not doing anything wrong, so I have nothing to worry about," or, "You can't [blank] if you're dead," ought to shut the f*** up.

3) Anyone who still believes that global warming is a myth? Shut the f*** up.

4) Rush Limbaugh must shut the f*** up. On second thought, strike that. The more we see Violet Beauregard flapping his arms and mocking Parkinson's patients, the better off the rest of the nation will be.

5) In Ann Coulter's latest column, he wondered when the Democrats would be fitting Senator-Elect Jon Tester with a "leotard." Speaking of tards, Mr. Coulter needs to shut the f*** up. And this order stands for anyone who claims Senator-Elect Tester is a "conservative Democrat." He could very well be the face of the New Progressive Democrat and one of the most genuine lawmakers elected Tuesday. Prediction: if he isn't already, Tester will quickly become a rock star in this party.

6) I think it was Bill Maher who mentioned this but it stands repeating here: neocons who have made multiple rosy predictions about Iraq need to shut the f*** up and are forthwith banned from making any more predictions.

7) Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly and other homophobes who use the "San Francisco Liberal" label for Speaker-Elect Pelosi must... you know. We all understand that it's right-wing code language meaning "homo-values." If that's what you mean, just say it. That is, unless you're not man enough.

8) If you still believe that Karl Rove is a genius, wizard, architect or anything short of overrated, you must shut the f*** up. One popular vote loss, one win, one near loss to a disorganized opponent and one outright loss means one thing and one thing only: mediocrity. Racking up this kind of record by means of dirty tricks, race-baiting and questioning the patriotism of decorated war veterans makes Rove a mediocre hack at best.

9) Ed Gillespie, the man who's just a neck with a mouth, is officially ordered for the last time to shut the f*** up.

10) The devilish wordsmiths who think it's strategic and clever to refer to the Democratic Party as the "Democrat Party" need to stop it. Shut the f*** up. The official name of the party is the Democratic Party, with the "ic" at the end. Yeah, I know. Newt Gingrich and Frank Luntz invented the idea of saying "Democrat Party" or "the Democrat leadership" or "the Democrat voters" in order to emphasize the "rat" syllable, leaving a rat-like subliminal hint in the minds of listeners. President Bush, in his so-called "conciliatory" press conference Wednesday, used this incorrect pronunciation several times.

"And while the ballots are still being counted in the Senate, it is clear the Democrat Party had a good night last night, and I congratulate them on their victories."

"This morning I spoke with Republican and Democrat leadership in the House and Senate."

"...we'll begin consultations with the Democrat leadership starting Thursday and Friday."

"...and now work with Democrat leaders in the Congress because they control the committees and they control the flow of bills."

"We got some tax cuts passed with Democrat votes."

11) And finally... Mr. President. Saying that you're going to work with Congress and compromise for the sake of the nation doesn't mean shoving your unconstitutional Terrorist Surveillance Act and your bellicose anti-U.N. U.N. ambassador through a lame duck session. So if you don't really intend to be bipartisan, then shut the f*** up. You pride yourself on letting people know exactly where you stand and, despite the fact that you routinely stand on dangerous principles, there's at least some cold comfort in knowing what you're up to. But it's clear that that President Bush is long gone -- replaced by a man who can't even be honest with his own base about things like the Iraq War, subsequently leaving his allies alone, confused and scrambling to assuage the anger of an increasingly hostile constituency. This last part? Keep it up, thank you.

And that's the roll call. I've spent the last several days not only breathing in the sweet aroma of real-life governmental checks and balances, but I've also been evaluating where we go from here. Clearly Speaker-Elect Pelosi and the Democratic leadership have the daunting task of working with the White House to not only push through vital pieces of legislation, but they also must do so in a way that doesn't raze their chances for further pickups in 2008. It goes without saying that any misstep in the face of this Republican Party (and its media lapdogs) could spell disaster. So they have to play nice in some ways, but you and I are best served by remaining on the attack and never hesitating to tell those who deserve it to shut the f*** up.

UPDATE: I've been told that Joe McCarthy was the first to use the "Democrat [sic] Party" misnomer. However, its use became much more pervasive when Gingrich and Luntz practically made it mandatory in the ranks of the GOP.

Bob, can you make a few extra cups? There's a few people in Paltalk who look thirsty...



Anonymous said...

Sunday, Nov 12th, 4:34 pm, est:
Trouble in Paradise

LordMercifulVoo: hahahahahahahahahahhaha
Jesus Claus: Voo, you just lost the argument
Jesus Claus: Thanks, better luck next time
LordMercifulVoo: MOVE ON!
LordMercifulVoo: CLaus got SLAPPED and MAD!
LordMercifulVoo: HAHAHA
LordMercifulVoo: HE IS GOING TO GET ME.
LordMercifulVoo: WITH HIS "KEYBOARD"
LordMercifulVoo: IA M SO PISSED ATVOO!
LordMercifulVoo: i am a super jew!
LordMercifulVoo: doesn't he know i am a super jew
LordMercifulVoo: you can't slap a suPER UJEW
LordMercifulVoo: hahahahahahhaahha

Gee I wonder if Claus will respond about the religious bigotry that Voo spewed out? I remember Claus protecting Voo from a racial slur in an earlier post. hmmmmm

Jesus Claus said...

Voo is frequently a jackass, and wrong about a great many things, but you can't be suggesting that any of that excuses someone else's racist comments. That sounds like moral relativism to me.

Anonymous said...

Well Claus, You fit the bill. Moral relativism to me sounds like you. A guy with a nic name that makes a bigoted slur towards a sect of religion. But you won't address that will you. You haven't addressed it thus far in the blog, so I don't see you having the manhood to stand up and address it now. You call Voo a jackass for his comment, but yet your name speaks volumes because it IS your comment. How typical for a lefty. Now run off and hide like you always do. You've lost the argument before it even began.

PS: To the other readers
It's not as if Claus isn't aware of the comments about his name in this post or the others. His email is automatically updated from eblogger with each and every comment. But yet he remains silent about the issue. Why? Seems like now would be a good time to debate the issue and give his explaination.

Eff25 said...

Come on now, Coulet is an it not a she, and certainly not a he.

Oh, and while it may be official, I don't believe, purely as a matter of grammar, that Democratic Party is proper. The reason I don't is that I understand the ic suffix to mean like onto, or of, parties of a democratic nature and similar. Thus the Republicans can be called democratic. Democratic is an adjective, but the difference between it and Republican as an adjective is that the former has a broader meaning covering more varied forms of government, including Republics, constitutional or not. I'll say Democratic from now on, but I am not all together comfortable with it.

Eff25 said...

Coulter, but not much shame in messing her name, aside from insulting people named Coulet. Sorry Coulets.

Jay156 said...


the ** in the middle of the word FUCK made it just a little to precious to read. I found it hard to dance to as well.

Jay156 said...

hmmm who to side with here....A drizzling pile of rat shit arguing with an uninteresting sack of used dildos....Which one is which? Does it really matter?

Jay156 said...

everytime I read one of Claus' inane comments it leaves me with more questions...

Claus...Voo is a flaming lib, exactly like you...only difference between the two of you is some melatonin.

According to you, Voo is wrong on MOST things...I am wrong on ALL things...Voo and I most certainly don't agree on ANYTHING...I feel like the AFLAC duck. By the way...this post is great because it shows two of Paltalk's biggest idiots both doing their "If I claim I won, I won" routine....Classic!