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Friday, August 31, 2007

OH WHAT A WEB WE WEAVE

No doubt, some of you would have recently seen and/or heard about United States Senator Larry Craigs' infamous indiscretion in an airport bathroom/toilet. Larry Craig had a foot tapping time in a bathroom stall and ended up being arrested by an undercover cop in the stall next to him, charged and plead guilty to misdemeanour disorderly conduct and paid more than $US500 ($602) in fines and fees, and had a 10-day jail sentence stayed.

More reading on this subject can be viewed here, here and here. Also audio of Larry Craigs' interview by police can be heard here.

'Mairead-' of Paltalk fame has kindly allowed me to reproduce here a piece of prose she wrote about Senator Larry Craig. More precisely it is an open letter to Larry Craig. What follows is what 'Mairead-' wrote in full:

"Dear Senator Craig (Big R from Idaho),

At your press conference following the revelation of your arrest at the Minneapolis airport's men's room, you said, "Thank you all very much for coming out today." You're welcome. Your turn.

You said, "I did nothing wrong." I happen to agree with you that playing footsie should not be a prosecutable offense, despite the fact that it might offend those people who make a habit of crawling around on the floors of airport bathrooms looking under stalls. (You know, like cops.) Wearing bad shoes, maybe, but not footsie. (Note to myself: ask your fashion consultants about the proper foot wear for "tapping in the boys room.")

Bummer that conservative Republican legislators keep making laws that keep gay guys closeted in fear and shame because the laws persecute gay guys......you know, Republican legislators like you. And closeted gay guys........well......like you. You clearly didn't think this through. (Can spiders get caught in their own webs?)

You said, "I am not gay. I never have been gay." Well, that statement pretty much puts you outside the company of experts on the issue!

To be fair, on the other side of the issue, I would like to know what the cop in this case says when his kids ask what he does for a living: "Well son, daddy goes to public bathrooms, drops his drawers, sits on a toilet, and plays footsie with strangers in the next stall, then arrests them when they play footsie back." What kid wouldn't be proud!

And you know, Senator, I do not want to see your career in the US Senate end. What I would like to see is you learning from this ludicrous situation how to be a more compassionate and rational legislator who stands up for his people (all of them) and works for social justice against the Puritan ninnies who run your party right now. That's what I'd like to see come out of this.

Heck, you and your change of heart can come out at the same time! I mean, we still love Barney Frank and George Michael! Who knows? You might like actually representing gay issues openly. As Carol Channing said when asked to what she ascribed her longevity as a performer (still performing in her 80's) She said, "Oh, get the gay boys to love you. They will pay to come see you if they wheel you out on stage in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank!"

On the other hand, a caution. Donna Summer was on the brink of superstardom in the 70's when she did that interview saying gay men were sinning against god. Ever hear from Donna Summer lately?"

Somehow, I don't think Senator Larry Craig is going to live this down in a hurry. Thank you for your literary contribution 'Mairead-'.

7 comments:

ononotagain said...

Golly Zip! My previous post (and pic) seems a bit juxtapositionally compromised.
The Craig entrapment falls into the lap (no pun) of several causes. To be listed at length (no pun) later
Next will be legislation for PINK TRIANGLES to be worn by designated citizens.
Thought police and stings are just so UNJUST! so NAZI! so AMERICAN!
more later, for sure.

Facetious Muse said...

LMAO, this had to be the best way I have seen the Craig issue addressed. WTG. and Mair thank you sweetie for sharing your letter. I'm so proud now :o)

zipperdedoodah said...

LOL, yes ONO, I did note the coincidence and shared focus of your previous post :-)

Eff25 said...

"compassionate and rational legislator" vs. Puritan ninnies.

Good luck with that.

Q Jordon said...

The man was out of toilet paper, and he was simply trying to get the attention of the guy in the next stall.

That his story and he is sticking to it.

Q

Anonymous said...

Sticking to what? The toilet paper?

zombiemaster said...

oh boy, the low this place has sunk to.

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