A SPY REVEALED

The Rattler Covert Operations Team has uncovered a spy attempting to infiltrate the Mainstream operations base. Sources confirm that Vic_Ferrari_Forever has entered the room disguised as Teflon Tony. Apparently embarrassed to be seen with his real nickname, Vic is again resorting to hiding so that he won't get blown up by logic and truth. Vic was apprehended with detailed blueprints of the Liberal Breakfast Nook, and agents believe that his plan was to infiltrate the base, make his way to the kitchen, and pee in the Corn Flakes.

Vic is now being held in an underground cell, sedated, and awaiting a psychological evaluation. Scientists hope to study this specimen to determine what has caused its mental retardation and hostility. Vic will then be radio-tagged and released into the wild, where, with any luck, he will be quickly killed and devoured by a rabid ocelot.

JC