BILLARY THREE UPDATE

The jailed political activists known as the Billary Three were arraigned yesterday on charges of unlawful assembly, resisting arrest, and setting off fireworks within city limits. Two of them -- KermieLegs and hillarypaul2008 -- were released yesterday after the court hearing. However, bigmac_2008 remained in custody until early this morning. According to city officials, who requested anonymity, bigmac's shirt was torn while resisting arrest and it was discovered that he was secretly working for another Democratic candidate. Upon making the discovery the two angry women turned on bigmac. They knocked him to the ground where KermieLegs attempted to asphyxiate him with her buttocks while hillarypaul assaulted him with a fanny pack. The four police officers who intervened sustained minor injuries but managed to restrain the two women before they could set off the fire crackers they had forced down his pants. bigmac was treated at the scene and transported to the city jail via wheelbarrow. He was officially released on his own recognizance yesterday but, at his request, remained at the city jail in protective custody until this morning.

Below on the left, bigmac_2008 displays the tattoo that exposed him as a plant. On the right is a picture of the 55th Nappy-Headed Ho Brigade who were hired by the Hillary Campaign to protect the Billary Three. The Brigade gained notoriety after their valiant defense of Mrs. Clinton when she came under sniper fire at the airport in Bosnia. They also guarded the Belfast Town Hall where the former First Lady brought feuding grandmothers together for tea.