WASTED LIFE, SHATTERED DREAMS

Virginia has now received the “officially obsessed” certification from the "Wiley Coyote Can’t Win For Losing Society", having spent provided 3 (yes, three) articles devoted to me. They’re even numbered Volumes 1, 2 and 3. You can check them out at her blog site, but avoid eating rich foods before you do that.

Wow, where to begin! There is so much wrong going on in her head, it’s impossible to know where to start, but perhaps instead of trying to plumb the depths of chronic depression or borderline psychosis, I’ll just outline some thoughts, facts, and incidental profiling.


Background:

Virgina just reached her 24th birthday, and apparently has earned a degree in some subset of engineering at a college somewhere. She says she’s now off school (perhaps for the summer) and planning to go back for a more elevated degree in her course study. She spends her spare time now, and it seems to be infinite based on her presence, online either working on her blog, or in the political rooms championing her brand of neoconservatism, or reading and responding to blogs with which she doesn’t agree which allow comments as a form of free speech. It should be noted she enlists and encourages others to do the same. Her latest article about me specifically recommends “don't be shy to tell Livid what you really think.” Virginia is online every evening, including weekends. Again, she is a young woman between semesters with the limited responsibilities of a student, and spends her spare time sitting in a chair online at home. She has an issue with ageism when the individuals in question do not agree with her. She resents anyone whose years are much more advanced than her own even suggesting her attitude, tone and character are emotionally immature, even for someone of her young age. Clearly there are many young people who have are adults and conduct themselves as such, with consideration and thoughtful approach and demeanor. All these things are in evidence, and we know these things. But what do we conjecture about this?

Question:

Why would a 24 year old woman, between school terms, with little responsibility, who is seemingly bright intellectually if not emotionally, spend all her free time on Paltalk or doing her blogger thing? Why would someone of that age group sit in a chat room, googling slanted websites to promote her arguments when there are other entertainment options available to her?

Human Commonality:

Anecdotally, when I was 24 (or younger and even older) even though I worked full time while going to school full time, I spent as much time as I could with friends at social functions, whether it was nightclubs, ballgames, participation sports, private parties, dating, making love, making new friends, exploring life, or any other activities I could find to be with friends and have some fun in life. From my observations of 59 years, I’ve known very few people who didn’t do the same as me, and I suspect the great majority of readers given similar circumstances would say the same.

Conjecture:

Something is very wrong with Virginia socially. We don’t know what that might be. A few possibilities though, are as follows:
· She is socially inept, perhaps very shy because of some childhood event(s).
· Her appearance places her at a disadvantage socially, in that she is unattractive in some manner or another.
· She repels others with her dictatorial style and her tendency to control the conversations and to overlay her agenda on everyone else, and is ostracized in real life as a consequence. In short, no one wants to be around her.
· What seems to be a never ending desire to denigrate people with whom she takes issue on any topic at all, the result being those people (and anyone observing) have shut her out.
· A pathological liar who is completely missing the ethic that lying is bad, and who uses her lies to whatever end she desires at any given moment. She does it without thinking, without regret, and without even the hint of moral fiber to arrest her. Those who suffer as a result of her lies, as well as those who observe the offending lies from a distance avoid her assiduously.
· A combination of any or all of the above.

Results:

A bitter young woman who either doesn’t have the ability to alter herself, or grow up, or gain wisdom to a large enough degree to make the changes necessary to give herself an opportunity at improving her life in the ways which most of us have learned count most, the comfort of friends or lovers or acquaintances who care, and who want to be with us, OR, someone without the courage and will to change those things that impair her ability to “see” the existence of other human beings in a normal sense, which is to spiritually accept others as sensate and valued entities as equals and worthy of respect and friendship.

Probabilities:

Most of us have fundamental ethics and morals instilled in us from the earliest of ages, by our parents, teachers, sponsors, mentors, friends, environment etc. Some of them have to do with honesty, integrity, justice, honor, courage, compassion, and a real and textured empathy for others. The underpinnings of these attributes are found in the youngest of us, and are formed early and with more time and experience, grow in a substantive way that actually broadens and deepens these traits to provide us the skills and wisdom to be productive and sensitive beings as we travel life’s paths. Certainly by the adolescent years, the seeds should be sprouting and growing, nurtured by the encouragement of others, and the positive stimuli that results from the “rightness” of what they ultimately accord us. By the teen years, we begin to test these things, and learn from our missteps when we go off path, and learn also the real benefits of taking them to heart. By our late teen years and early twenties, our course will have been set for life, and without drastic and painful life changes, or epiphanies, we will likely not change. The die is cast as it were, and whatever we are at that point, will steer us the rest of the way through life. If we have been taught, or have taught ourselves how to love, that will be with us always. If we have been taught, or have taught ourselves fear, that too will be the driving force for the rest of our days.

Conclusion:

My best, most honest, and most well considered speculation is this. Virginia’s life did not afford her “the right stuff”. She is miles off course if she is ever to have an opportunity to experience truth and honesty in her heart, and in so doing, truly understand that love is the only answer, and fear is the only obstacle. It’s likely it’s all but too late for her now. My words here are of sadness and loss, and while I honestly, sincerely, and without reservation, hope for some sort of morphing brought on by some sudden insight, I cannot expect it at this point in her life. She’s too thoroughly ingrained with precisely the wrong things in her soul to change now. One of my truths with Virginia is this. I’ve denied to myself ever since I met her, that she could actually be the person she projects with her words and actions. I truly couldn’t believe that of someone so young and seemingly bright in a sort of rote book way. I struggled even recently when I sent her an invite to Banned to try to demonstrate to her that life is about compromise with others, about fairness and justice, about the ability to offer a hand to someone in need, and about compassion and kindness and sharing. My invite was met with an accusing PM and a static attack on my motives. She took my offer as weakness and went for the kill. She couldn’t comprehend it was strength that provide that invite, and not weakness. That’s the largest point I can make. It’s not in her to even understand that simple fact. She sees reaching out as a sign of weakness instead of courage and strength of character. If at 24 years old she embraces the fears inside her, what will she be like as she ages toward the bitter conclusion of her participation in this life?

I’d planned on copying and pasting bits and pieces of the two PM’s I’ve had recently with Virginia, or whole or partial segments of the blogs and comments she’s created as relates to me and others, and would of course be happy to provide this to people who ask, but I believe the end game is the same. It is this. Perhaps we should listen to what we hear from those invisible and unknown people who are absent from Virginia’s real life. They’ve known her longer, and have experiences with her that extends beyond a computer screen. They know something about her, and are experts who have chosen to run as fast and far from her as possible. The very fear that abides in her casts a shadow where she passes, no sunlight, no basking glow from the moon, the stars shrouded in the thickest of clouds. No light at all finds her spirit, no flame flickers within, only the cold black ice of hatred and fear. Listen to the voices of those unknown and unseen who warn us. Stay away.. stay away.. stay away!

*Note - Please forgive typos, fractured sentences, etc. Had no time to reread and edit before publishing. Thanks!