DOES THIS BLOG MAKE ME LOOK FAT?

Hey, it's a duck drinking beer. That's synergy, baby!

Well, we've gained a little weight here at the Rattler. This little tugboat is towing some new barges, and we couldn't be happier. I had always hoped to make this more of a group effort, and now we've gathered some of the finest minds in all of Social Issues to lend their intelligence, their gravitas, and their spare change for gas money.

We've gotten a couple of Aussies to sign up with the crew, based on promises of hookers and free Foster's (Fun Fact - did you know it's Australian for Beer?). I'm even willing to overlook the fact that they're so confused they're walking around on the Earth upside down, fer chrissakes.

Oh man, we got some lovely liberal ladies (that's the best kind!) to hang with us. When it comes to snarky comments about stupid conservatives, you really need a woman's touch. They really know how to twist the knife just a little deeper while maintaining the illusion that they're actually interested in the inane conversation you're trying to have while hitting on them. At least, that's been my experience...

And then, there's Ducky. I don't know what happened here. Apparently, every sliver of evil that exists in every possible universe was somehow sucked through a black hole and reconstituted into a small yellow rubber Ducky. And it squeaks when you squeeze it. I'm a little worried, but at least we can say that The Rattler is the Whole Interweb's Only Source of Pure Evil Ducky. That has to count for something.

JC